I have no one to turn to and no one understands me, I’m sitting in my room trying every best effort not to self harm. I can’t take anything anymore, can’t control my emotions and the act my partner winds me up on purpose - he must like seeing me get in these states because he doesn’t stop when he can see how he’s making me even though I’m carrying his child. I don’t want this life, I don’t want this child I can’t take care of myself. I just want to talk to someone who understands, not someone who makes me feel worse about who I am. I don’t trust him, I don’t trust anyone and it’s killing me. It was my birthday a few days ago, every birthday makes me feel suicidal because it’s a reflection of how shit my life has turned out. I don’t have anything left in me. I’m drained, exhausted, and I don’t have any fight in me anymore. I don’t want a life of torture and misery where it never gets better, I just get worse as each day goes by. There’s no escape and can’t face up to the life I’ve created, please just kill me now.