Can anybody help?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by silverflash, Aug 20, 2006.

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  1. silverflash

    silverflash Well-Known Member

    Here I am, sitting all alone wondering what to do next. It seems as though there is nobody in the whole world who can help me. I have searched and searched for help. I feel so desperate and yet what should I do?
    The medical profession have said that I am too traumatised for them to be able to help me. It seems as though my life is over. Every day is agony and I don't want to carry on like this.
    I am scared of dying and yet life is hell. What should I do?
    Last week I went to see the priest and even he said that he could not help me. I have to live this hell by myself. Most of my friends have given up on me. The pain of living is getting too much for me to bear. I just want to curl up and sleep for ever. Do you understand?
     
  2. Dragon

    Dragon Staff Alumni

    Hi hun :hug:

    I can't claim to know what you're going through, because that would be hypocritical, but if you ever want to chat I'm a very accepting person so you can PM me or IM me or anything you like.

    I hope you find the support you're looking for here.

    xxx
     
  3. silverflash

    silverflash Well-Known Member

    Hi
    it is nice to know that somebody is there. My whole body feels in pain. I really do not know what to do.
     
  4. me_

    me_ Guest

    Hi and welcome to the forum!
    I am here too. :smile:
    Why is every day an agony for you?
     
  5. silverflash

    silverflash Well-Known Member

    Hi
    Life is agony because of the emotional pain that I feel all the time. I want to scream and scream and scream, but it still won't go away. How do I get rid of it? I don't know and when the doctors say they can't help you, where can you go? I feel swamped by all of life. There is no joy - only pain and I am so tired of it all. I want to escape. Some days I stay in bed all day as then there is less pain - but that's no way to live. Oh I wish that I was dead.
     
  6. me_

    me_ Guest

    Sorry to hear things are so rough for you. :hug:
    What causes the emotional pain? Do you want to talk about that?
     
  7. silverflash

    silverflash Well-Known Member

    Hi again,
    Thanks for asking. I was raped and now I am suffering from Post traumatic stress disorder. I have suppressed my feelings and emotions for such a long time, but everything is so raw now. I have been to doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists and counsellors and everybody agrees that my trauma is very severe and yet it is as though they don't want to get their hands dirty by trying to help me to get over it. Some days I feel so hysterical and on other days I just don't want to face life. I have a very limited support system, so quite simply if I can't survive, there is nobody to help me. At the moment, I feel so exhausted by life that I wish that I was dead. How can I ever get rid of this pain?
     
  8. me_

    me_ Guest

    OMG, I am so so sorry for what you have been through!!!
    I wish I could tell you that everything is going to be allright, and that you will eventually get rid of the pain, but I can't. But i think it is possible to ameliorate the pain with some help, and to learn to live with it ... and by help i don't mean the help of a doctor or priest ... but people around you who you can confide in, who you can rely on ...
    I am here to listen ... as i am sure others in here are too.
    Feel free to PM me!
    :hug:
     
  9. silverflash

    silverflash Well-Known Member

    That's part of my problem I think. I don't have anybody who I can rely on and confide in nearby. I seem to have lost so many friends since I was diagnosed with PTSD. I know that I am going through a dreadful time in my life, and consequently I am not an easy person to be with, but I didn't expect my friends to leave me like this.
    Every day is a struggle and I just want somebody to say it will be OK - but there seems no hope for me.
    I have no family to support me and that makes it so difficult too.
    Without hope there is no reason to live.

    I want to find hope somewhere, but I don't know where to find it.
     
  10. me_

    me_ Guest

    I don't want to offend your friends ... but maybe you are better off without them. If you can't rely on them in times like this, then maybe they are not true friends.
    I WISH i could tell you that everything is going to be ok, but i can't know that for sure, and i don't want to be a hypocrite and say it anyway. But it is possible. You will most certainly never forget what happened, but the way you handle those memories can be changed. And one place to get support from is this place. It is a start. People here are really supportive, i am sure you will make some friends here if you stick around.
    You can count on me if you ever need to talk, i might not be much of a help, but i can listen.
    :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  11. silverflash

    silverflash Well-Known Member

    Well here I am again, another few hours nearer my death. Will death end this pain or will it go on forever?

    Another shitty day where I was told that I was not worth helping. Great eh??

    The highlight of the day was a bar of chocolate that I ate to console myself that once again I had been told that I was worthless. The chocolate was very nice, but all it means in reality is that I feel worse about myself as I am too fat. I hate myself so much. So does the world.
    Why can't I just die?

    pain, pain, pain. That is all that there is in my life. I wanna die.
     
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