Hi... Can anyone help me pls? Feeling so lonely right now...Can anyone tell me how can I find ppl who can aleast geniuely care abit about me? I know this is egocentric but I can take no more. Now I have no friends, never had a girlfriend before, jobless and my remaining family members hate me alot. I have social anxiety and depression for 7 years and it totally destroyed my life. My father has passed away and my brother hates me because I have to depend on him financially when I was sick and he said because of me he wasnt able to buy a car. My mother thought that I was lying to her and told me that she is so disappointed that I'm such a weak person and wished that she never had given birth to me. I told her I wanted to commit suicide and she said go ahead and kill yourself. Both of them criticized me all the time with words like coward, deluded, liar, weak, hopeless. I tried suicide hotline before but they said they couldnt help me and refered me to a counsellor. I couldnt afford it so I went for a FOC neighbourhood counsellor but he was recording everything that I said and was constantly looking at his watch. He never seemed to care about my problem and in the end he suggested that I go look for help from a mental hospital. Psychiartry Dr wasnt helping much either, they were like prescriping me medication after medication and never at once ask me why I'm have the problem I have. I'm feeling so lonely and I need ppl to care abit for me and not medication after medication.. For abit of time, I was hospialized in a mental care centre because my depression and suicidal thought got me to a really terrible state. My doctor asked me whether I was suicidal everyday and at one time even threaten that if I attempt to commit suicide, I will be jailed for a year and will never be able to get a job. They never once asked me why I was depressed or suicidal and seemed to assumed that all they have to do is to force me to take more and more medication which the side effects made me even more depressed. I'm feeling so lonely and I'm very sure medication will not help me. I need abit of care, abit of love, all of which I never experienced in my 20 over years of life. I know that even if I get better which for 7 years only gotten worst, I will not be able to find a decent job other then odd jobs. I know that it is customary here to say that there will always be hope, but sometime when we be realistic, we can be quite sure that the hope of getting a bearable life much less a happy life is almost impossible. Its like saying whether we can be alive after jumping off from 8 storey, the chances are slim. And I'm feeling so drain out now...like I'm starving and dont have the energy to fill up my lack of it and I dont even know what I can do. Can anyone give me advise?