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Can anyone help me?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jackfoo123, Jul 27, 2010.

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  1. jackfoo123

    jackfoo123 Member

    Can anyone help me pls? Feeling so lonely right now...Can anyone tell me how can I find ppl who can aleast geniuely care abit about me? I know this is egocentric but I can take no more. Now I have no friends, never had a girlfriend before, jobless and my remaining family members hate me alot.

    I have social anxiety and depression for 7 years and it totally destroyed my life. My father has passed away and my brother hates me because I have to depend on him financially when I was sick and he said because of me he wasnt able to buy a car. My mother thought that I was lying to her and told me that she is so disappointed that I'm such a weak person and wished that she never had given birth to me. I told her I wanted to commit suicide and she said go ahead and kill yourself. Both of them criticized me all the time with words like coward, deluded, liar, weak, hopeless.

    I tried suicide hotline before but they said they couldnt help me and refered me to a counsellor. I couldnt afford it so I went for a FOC neighbourhood counsellor but he was recording everything that I said and was constantly looking at his watch. He never seemed to care about my problem and in the end he suggested that I go look for help from a mental hospital. Psychiartry Dr wasnt helping much either, they were like prescriping me medication after medication and never at once ask me why I'm have the problem I have. I'm feeling so lonely and I need ppl to care abit for me and not medication after medication..

    For abit of time, I was hospialized in a mental care centre because my depression and suicidal thought got me to a really terrible state. My doctor asked me whether I was suicidal everyday and at one time even threaten that if I attempt to commit suicide, I will be jailed for a year and will never be able to get a job. They never once asked me why I was depressed or suicidal and seemed to assumed that all they have to do is to force me to take more and more medication which the side effects made me even more depressed.

    I'm feeling so lonely and I'm very sure medication will not help me. I need abit of care, abit of love, all of which I never experienced in my 20 over years of life. I know that even if I get better which for 7 years only gotten worst, I will not be able to find a decent job other then odd jobs.

    I know that it is customary here to say that there will always be hope, but sometime when we be realistic, we can be quite sure that the hope of getting a bearable life much less a happy life is almost impossible. Its like saying whether we can be alive after jumping off from 8 storey, the chances are slim. And I'm feeling so drain out now...like I'm starving and dont have the energy to fill up my lack of it and I dont even know what I can do. Can anyone give me advise?
  2. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    I know things can be over whelming with all that is stacked against you but you can make it. It will not be easy. But it is worth it. Survive. Show them all that they were wrong. Get some fight in you and stnad up. Take one day at a time. Happiness is not a right it is a choice. You have to force yourself.

    Giver yourself some credit. Pick a distraction that makes you happy, or atleast doesn't make you feel terrible and pour yourself in it. I know how a lack of all those things affect people (been there) but you are gonna have to try and YOU CAN MAKE IT. I care about you. I want to see you rub it in all of thier faces when you are on your feet and they are still stuck in the mud resenting you. YOU CAN DO IT!!
  3. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Happiness is your right. Everyone deserves it :).

    Try to do something that distracts you. Go watch a movie, go for a walk(I like walking at night, it's so peaceful), or something.

    I know the feeling of being completely tired and even after going to bed for hours I still feel like my legs can't hold me. That feeling will pass! Of course I'm not running around like a lunatic but I don't feel 'as' sapped of energy as I have been.

    Do anything that makes you feel better :). Your relatives sound as though they have no clue what you're going through. If it makes you feel better write a letter or something. Just spill EVERYTHING out and onto the paper and let them have it.

    You can have a go with meds, I've never tried them myself, let alone therapy etc but they could help.

    Edit: And people do care :hug:. Even if I've never met you in my life(I could have but not known :tongue:), I(and all of us here) care...
  4. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    You dont have to be lonely we will be your friends. I am praying fro you and hope you do too. I am very sorry you feel down. Stay here and we will help you and bring you friendship and hope.

    Write me,

  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Lots of caring people here that understand you pain that can relate to your sadness come here and talk as often as you want release the sadness here okay Honestly here people do care okay please knowthat Goto a different doctor okay onethat you can relate to one that listens and care you dont' have to stay with one that does not care get a new one. stay here with people now that will listen and take care of you okay. Do things that make you happy walk listen music simple things that bring you joy
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