• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)

Can anyone identify this?

Dante

SF Supporter
#1
So, my mental health took a weird turn on the weekend, and its just made me very aware of myself, which has highlighted a few mental behaviours I have been ignoring for over a year (some of them much longer)

1) I always feel this slight nagging or weight at the back of my mind, usually I just ignore it, other times it makes me feel a little shaky or fragile for a few hours or a day, and VERY occasionally (twice so far) I seem to have a complete breakdown out of nowhere.

2) Sometimes, seemingly without prompting, usually in a moment of nothing going on, my thoughts will inexorably turn to the question: "Can I die yet?" even if there is no emotion behind those words, its become something of a mental sigh when i don't know what to do with myself, though seems to be connected to the nagging in number 1.

3) I will feel every emotion normally, but the positive emotions, happiness, joy, amusement, the instant the moment passes I have to consciously hold onto the feeling or it seem to drain like water out of a sieve, like they were just an act in the first place and some cosmic Director figure called "Cut".

4) I seem to have a very short fuse, almost anything can frustrate or annoy me in no time at all.

Some of the above I just assumed were leftovers from clinical depression (which I was treated for a couple of times between 2010 and 2018) so I just ignored them thinking they would go away, but they have become patterns and some have gotten worse, so I was wondering if anyone else gets any of these and has an idea as to cause, because I have a sneaking suspicion I am in denial about and I am hoping someone has a different idea.
 

Sevven

Well-Known Member
#2
Honestly, it sounds like anxiety. I used to think anxiety was "ooh I'm Nervous," but it's so much more layered and complex than that.
All of those things could be symptoms of anxiety. When I was diagnosed I realized it's what I'd been calling "trauma brain."
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$600.00
Goal
$255.00
Top