I am trying with everything I got to hold on, but I continue to ask myself why. I started running, and exercising with some old friends to see and hope that maybe it will help with my depression and hate of myself and life. It hasnt helped it has made it even worse. When we are done my friends go home to there wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, and families. I leave and go home to nothing and noone. It just makes me realize more and more I am alone with noone. It just hurts so bad to see how they have someone to be with, and how I am so alone in this world. I am literally crying as I write this just praying that it will all end. I just wish I would never see a day again.