Can feel myself slipping back!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by GoldenPsych, Oct 13, 2010.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    It seems as though things are deterioating faster than I anticipated. I have been having thoughts again about killing myself. I don't know why. I think being low for periods of time does this to me. OK, so it's only been a few weeks but I think sometimes it gets too much for me. I think one of the reasons I am feeling so frustrated is I don't know why things are going the way they are. I have not made any plans to, but it is now my "if such and such doesn't happen/work out/or get better well I can always..." if you know what I mean. It's my back up plan if that makes sense. I wish I knew what was causing these feelings as then at least I could do something about it. I am getting scared about getting to the not caring stage.

    This is so frustrating!
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is so often that we use 'I can always leave' as a way to assure that we can control the pain...this is why so many ppl say they are going to exit and are here the next is not fabrication, but instead, the evidence that many ppl are in dire pain...what if you cannot 'know' why? maybe, instead, feeling as you do and move on from there...we are rather complicated beings and sometimes, as you have said before, we do not fit into neat are feeling awful and seeking help; this can be worked on/ repaired without a discrete category/ deserve to feel better and are seeking a path to attain this state...keep working and posting...we do care...big hugs, J
  3. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    It's the not knowing which is one of the things that is really bothering me. I have contacted the people I need to contact and is just a matter of waiting now. I have to wait ages for an appointment with the Psych and can't really see what they will do and the other people I have been in contact with haven't been in contact again. They asked me to send an email with some history in and since then I haven't heard anything. The nurse at the hospital said to me "you know where I am if you need me". Well I don't exactly know what to say to him. I can't see what he can do.

    I took my own stitches out today as I can't face going to the nurse on Friday (they were supposed to come out today but Friday was the earliest could get) and having to explain which ones need to come out and which ones need to stay in. I'm struggling with motivation, I am struggling so hard not to DSH. I can't take the lorazepam as it zombifies me which will mean I wont get anything done at all. But at the same time I am just sitting here staring in to space a lot of the time. I don't know if I will be able to take much more if this!
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    hey there,

    sorry to hear you are going through this.

    It could be that what you are experiencing is related to seasonal change. I think it is common for people to get much more depressed around this time of year.

    If you can afford it, I would recommend checking out acupuncture and chinese herbal medicine. These things can help.

    I would also recommend this book, "Curing Depression Naturally with Chinese Medicine" by Bob Flaws.

    which you may be able to get at your local library

    getting a 1/2 hour of gentle aerobic activity every day can help.

    Adjustments to conventional therapies can help, so if something isn't working, be sure to let your doctors know.

    hope you feel better soon!
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