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Can Find Love. Is there something wrong with me?. :( HELP PLEASE!

Hi all,
Right now I'm totally convinced that there isn't a person in the world for me. This might sound cliche but I honestly think that the qualities that I want in a woman are becoming harder to find. I'm and atheist, a intellectual, a cynic, and I have a quirky sense of humor. On the other hand I'm deeply passionate and value a variety of humanitarian causes. In general if someone is nice and treats me well then I reciprocate that. I'm very driven and I do well in school and have even been told that I'm handsome by several girls. And yet at 17 I feel myself losing faith in love.

Why? Because of who I am. I grew up in a family of protestant Christians but the whole idea of some invisible figure in the sky being responsible for everything never clicked with me. I tried being Christian but I have decided to come out front with my atheism. At the same time I chose to keep the moral standards of Christianity and am going to save my virginity till marriage. But the problem is I don't know if I will ever get married.

Most parents scoff at the idea of their daughter even thinking of dating an atheist. I'm not a bad person. I feel the same emotions everyone else does. I'm human not some creature. The other problem for me is that I'm looking for a woman who's smart, witty, attractive, adventurous, liberal and active politically, caring, compassionate, and on top of all that some one who will be a faithful wife and mother. I would like to marry a girl who's a virgin like me because I just feel that shows that she has the will to commit to something major and not back out. Because of my family and my personal preference I want to marry someone of my own race (white). I just don't see know way that I could marry outside my own race. I go to a small Christian school so life's difficult for me right now and it's making it difficult for me to believe there's anyone like me. Can someone please help me out here and try to steer me in the right direction? What can I do to attract the right girl? I'm really afraid to try again since my first girlfriend cheated on me and my second one did as well. I feel like its so difficult for me to ever trust a woman the way I trusted them. I don't want to hurt like that again and I don't
want to be alone forever. Please help and thanks in advance


Chat Buddy
SF Supporter
I don't know any way to attract the right person and not to trivialize you experiences, but you're still very young. I didn't find the right person until wel into college. Also, colleges are much bigger and you are more likely to find someone of different race/non Christian faith. Keep looking and don't give up.
Marrying someone of a different race probably isn't an option for me. I could marry a Christian as long as they were tolerant and understood that I don't believe. What I'm most concerned about is her moral character, something that I believe is on the decline.


Well-Known Member
At 17 your still young - plus you've already had a few woman tell you that your handsome - women do not say that unless you are!

After all, if they were just saying something because they want to make you feel confident - you'd be told your intelligent or 'nice'. Trust me bro - you'd not be called handsome if you were not a handsome guy!

You lucky son of a gun!

All it needs is your confidence also - then you will get along with a girl to the point were you make a connection with her. God does not mind us kissing a few girls to see who we connect to!

As for the Christian background - I'm a Christian but in a loose sense in that I don't follow the Old Testament and like you see Christian principles as a good thing regardless of the for or against re God and Jesus and so on.

Maybe your an agnostic more than an aesthetic as an aesthetic is like a Christian, its a belief that cannot be proven one way or another for most.

You maybe 'feel' there is no God just as others 'feel' there is. Treat others with respect and dignity and you have the makings of a code. Religion is a code made by men - and men makes mistakes and also lie.

An agnostic - just does not know. He or she makes no judgement one way or the other as to whether there is a higher power.

Anyhow, I'm sure you will find a girl one day - and there will be LOTS of girls who will see an handsome well educated and pretty mature young man as a catch.

Try dating a few women just to get used to that whole area of romance.

If you lose your virginity before marriage, its not a big deal these days.

Then again, maybe it would be nice if it was - but its too late for me - that train is gone, but another one will pull into the station.

Sexual attraction is just one quality we look for - in many ways we've become indoctrinated into thinking having a beautiful women is like having a 72 inch TV - a trophy of sorts - a sign of success.

Whoever you marry - like you say she has to share a certain moral outlook. I know atheists who are married to church going women - it works because a lot of other interests are shared.

Concentrate on your education - because a man who is well educated and has some sort of decent job qualifies as a 'catch' to any women looking for a husband. Being handsome also - dude, you'll have no trouble and will be able to enjoy this gift when you have a little confidence in yourself.

I'd hang out with you in a bar - maybe we'd get the daughter and mother situation - but alas the 21 drinking age in the USA restricts us. Funny how you can shoot people aged 18 for the country but not have a drink to chill out.

Good luck brother.

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