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can I get a witness?

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Pneuma

#1
#1
I'm going to try to function normally tomorrow. I am going to get up and go to class and go to the bank to cash the paycheck I got last Thursday.

It's not relevant to anyone else but I'm promising myself in a public forum that I can do this and will do this. Anyone reading this is my witness and has my permission to chastise me if I don't follow through.
 
L

Lady E

Well-Known Member
#3
#3
You can do this! :yes:
Think positive and maybe after you go to class and cash your check you should treat yourself to a little something. (positive renforcement:tongue: )

Good luck!
 
P

Pneuma

#5
#5
Ok, this is pathetic and embarrassing but I need to post it anyway. My alarm clock went off at 9 and I thought "eh, what's the point it doesn't matter anyway" and rolled over and got up at 1.

I can't shake my nothing matters opinion of life and don't know how to make it matter.
 
F

Flow

Member
#7
#7
ZZZZZZZ said:
Ok, this is pathetic and embarrassing but I need to post it anyway. My alarm clock went off at 9 and I thought "eh, what's the point it doesn't matter anyway" and rolled over and got up at 1.

I can't shake my nothing matters opinion of life and don't know how to make it matter.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I have the same problem. But, don't beat up yourself too hard.

Hmm.. I'm trying to find the hugs' smiley, but I couldn't find one.. so, this will do *hugs* lol
 
P

Pneuma

#8
#8
Awww! hugs right back atcha.

I'm taking fluoxetine 20 mg and seeing a councilor. I bought a journal last weekend and have been keeping track of my progress... or rather lack there of.
 
S

Scum

Well-Known Member
#9
#9
That's grand. How long have you been on the meds?

They take a while to work, so hopefully they will kick in soon, but you might need to get the dosage upped, or change the meds if they don't work.

prozac generally works by gradually making you feel better, so you may not necessarily notice a change as such, but when you have been on it for a while, if you look back a couple of weeks you should be able to see a difference.
 
P

Pneuma

#10
#10
I've been on them about a month and a half/two months or so.
They doubled the dosage about a month ago.

Medication can only do so much though.

I think I need to find;
-something that I'm good at that makes me feel good about myself
-religion or a spiritual belief so I don't feel like we're all just specks of dust flying around the universe
-a good reason to get out of bed in the morning
 
S

Scum

Well-Known Member
#11
#11
meds can take up to three months to work, but you are still on an incredibly low dosage of the first med they try.

You are right, meds can do only so much, but they can re-adjust the chemicals in the brain so that things don't feel so bad, so you should keep persevering with that, and the therapy.

Maybe before you find something that you are good at, you need to find some self belief, otherwise you probably won't see you are good at it. Maybe try googling 'ways to improve self esteem' and have a look at the links brought up, there is lots there that can help you.

I have no advice on spiritual beliefs because I don't really have any.

What do you think would help you get out of bed? An aim? passion? reason? a focus or something?
 
P

Pneuma

#12
#12
Up until now I had a morning ritual. I would get up and go out for coffee. I have coffee and a coffee maker at home, so it was just a way to keep myself from moping around the apartment and to get motivated for the rest of the day. I knew if I didn't leave my apartment that I would end up doing nothing all day, except for moping. Now I lack the will to even go out for coffee. It's like, what's the point? To go to classes that I'm now failing so my professors can give me the whole "you disappoint me" lecture?

Sigh...
 
S

Scum

Well-Known Member
#13
#13
Have you talked to your professors about what is going on? If you do they can offer you support as opposed to lectures.

Could you do something like get a new coffee maker? Would that excite you enough to get up? To try all the different settings and experiment and stuff?

Just a thought, could be way off line though.
 
P

Pneuma

#14
#14
Prepare to be bored, this is a lot of info that's probably not necessary.

I was taking 18 credits (6 classes) but had an emotional break down. I talked to three of my professors about it and two let me drop the class with a withdrawal as opposed to a fail and I stuck with the last one.

One professor (who is also my faculty advisor), although I didn't tell him about my breakdown and only told him that I've been having a rough semester, thinks I'm faking and guilt trips me for being a shoddy student. The class, Comparative Politics, is notoriously difficult. He tells me other students in the class who were doing just as poorly as I am GET the material, so why don't I?

I guess it would help if I actually did the reading but it's hard when you don't even want to get out of bed.

It's a week before finals week and I'm apathetic. I should care but I don't.


Thanks for the coffee suggestion. Not exactly helpful but it's the thought that counts :biggrin:
 
S

Scum

Well-Known Member
#15
#15
Maybe you could get a sick note from the doc to show to your tutor who is clearly an ignorant knob.

And also, that might help if your exams go badly. You might be able to get some sort of extenuating circumstances (or whatever your equivalent is) and rely more on how you have generally done so far in the course.


PS- lol the coffee machine suggestion comes from things I learnt myself. I found that if I bought my rabbits new toys, I felt better in myself because it was something new and interesting and my rabbits were happy. I also find that buying something new brings a bit of motivation to want to use it, that's all. It wasn;t as stupid as it sounds, lol.
 
P

Pneuma

#16
#16
I see my therapist tomorrow at 9am! I made the appointment early on purpose. I'll ask her to talk to my professors just so they know what's up.

At this point I'm just going to hope that it will turn out alright. I think just trying to make my life livable is a bit more important than worrying about my G.P.A. What's the point of a 4.0 when life feels empty.

As far as buying new things I used to have a bit of a shopping addiction. It was my way of trying to fill that emotional void. It does get endorphines flowing though.
 
S

Scum

Well-Known Member
#18
#18
Good luck tomorrow honey. Try and be as honest as you can, and getting her to talk to a tutor is a grand idea.

Sorry that I was not overly helpful, but hopefully someone will suggest something that might help, and your therapist will hopefully offer some help and support too.

Take care of yourself
 
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