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Can I Please Just End It All?

#1
I just really want to be done with life. It seems like nothing will ever get better. Life is pointless. I just don't get what the point of me being on this world is. I'm debating if I should just go back to hiding everything. It would make it so people wouldn't have to worry about me. I could slowly continue isolating. And then eventually just die. It would work, right? I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't handle life. It feels like everything is just a mess. My grandfather is dying. My father keeps doing this. And its not like this girl will ever stop this. So I'm at the end of my rope. I give up. I guess I'm going to end it all.
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
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SF Supporter
#2
You're 13 so there is a lot to go in this world. Life is more than parents or school or the friends you have now. Nothing that is happening right now will be the same way in a couple years. Things are constantly changing so what feels like the worst possible thing today will be gone - and maybe replaced by some other thing that THEN feels like the worst possible thing, because you'll be 15 and EVERTYHING is the worst thing at 15. And then you'll be 17 and all THOSE things will be gone and replaced by new shit. This is just how the world works. Try to consider how the future looks with a dose of reality okay?
 

Ineluki

The Storm King
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#4
*hug Gym

When I was 13...oh, gosh I don't even like thinking back on it but here goes nothing.

I was so miserable. My day started off horribly. No one even wanted to sit next to me on the bus because I wasn't showering any more. The kids at school picked on me all day long. My teacher from two years previous hated me and almost held me back a year, and that stigma of being a "loser" had stuck with me in to middle school. My own grandfather's death had affected not just me, but my entire family. My mom went through a depression that year too and things were a mess at home.

I thought about ending things too.

I know when you are depressed, you hate hearing things like "It will get better," or "there's always hope," but I can tell you Gym that within a few years, things did get a LOT better for me. My grades improved, I started making friends, and I got in to a good college. In college I met Mrs Luki! Now we have two wonderful kids.

Right now, at this point, I am in the midst of another depression (it's why I am here) and I have gone through other ones as well. But <----(and this is the most important but you ever see in your life) I know from experience life does change, some times for the better even! It's not always been sweetness, light and roses, but there have been some really good times I am glad I didn't miss.

You will have days where you fly through the air again, Gymnast! Don't miss out on them! :)
 
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#5
*hug Gym

When I was 13...oh, gosh I don't even like thinking back on it but here goes nothing.

I was so miserable. My day started off horribly. No one even wanted to sit next to me on the bus because I wasn't showering any more. The kids at school picked on me all day long. My teacher from two years previous hated me and almost held me back a year, and that stigma of being a "loser" had stuck with me in to middle school. My own grandfather's death had affected not just me, but my entire family. My mom went through a depression that year too and things were a mess at home.

I thought about ending things too.

I know when you are depressed, you hate hearing things like "It will get better," or "there's always hope," but I can tell you Gym that within a few years, things did get a LOT better for me. My grades improved, I started making friends, and I got in to a good college. In college I met Mrs Luki! Now we have two wonderful kids.

Right now, at this point, I am in the midst of another depression (it's why I am here) and I have gone through other ones as well. But <----(and this is the most important but you ever see in your life) I know from experience life does change, some times for the better even! It's not always been sweetness, light and roses, but there have been some really good times I am glad I didn't miss.

You will have days where you fly through the air again, Gymnast! Don't miss out on them! :)
I just can't handle life anymore Luki. It feels like no matter what I do, things just get worse.
 
#7
Sorry that you're going through this.

That's awful. You're welcome to say more about that if you'd like

I don't understand what "this" means here. You're welcome to explain, but it's also ok if you don't want to.
Cancer. Doctors said they can't do anything.

"this" means my father abusing me and my bro
 

MosesY

Recovering Alcoholic
SF Supporter
#8
Right now you are facing a fork in the road. A decision to make all on your own; nobody else will make it for you. 1) You can end your life. Nobody here is going to give you permission to do that. We view life as a precious gift, meant to be lived, and my belief is that helping people is the highest purpose of life. Option #2) fight the misery. Make your life good. Set little goals for yourself every day, like taking care of yourself. Shower, eat healthy, drink water, and search for help for your depression. Perhaps you need medication, perhaps talk therapy, don't stop until you find the help you need. Turn and face your fear head on and overcome it.
 

StuckHere

Public Access
#9
You're 13 so there is a lot to go in this world. Life is more than parents or school or the friends you have now. Nothing that is happening right now will be the same way in a couple years. Things are constantly changing so what feels like the worst possible thing today will be gone - and maybe replaced by some other thing that THEN feels like the worst possible thing, because you'll be 15 and EVERTYHING is the worst thing at 15. And then you'll be 17 and all THOSE things will be gone and replaced by new shit. This is just how the world works. Try to consider how the future looks with a dose of reality okay?
That is not helpful AT ALL. Just because she is 13 does not make her feelings not valid or any less of a struggle.
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#10
That is not helpful AT ALL. Just because she is 13 does not make her feelings not valid or any less of a struggle.
I'm not saying that only because she's 13. You're 19 and not much going on in YOUR life is going to be the same in 2 years either. But the younger you are the faster things change. Your friends are different, a school if different, the people you interact with are different, etc. Every couple years is a lifetime in your teen years up through the middle of your 20's for a lot of people.
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#11
When I was 13...oh, gosh I don't even like thinking back on it but here goes nothing.
Right? 13 isn't good for anyone. I don't think I've ever spoken to a person who thinks that those "middle school" aged years were great ... or even "fair".

Though is would appear that this user is also facing some additional issues that aren't the norm for even the usual "middle school" aged kids so I'm sure that is just adding to the misery of the age.
 

Jezah81

Well-Known Member
#13
I just really want to be done with life. It seems like nothing will ever get better. Life is pointless. I just don't get what the point of me being on this world is. I'm debating if I should just go back to hiding everything. It would make it so people wouldn't have to worry about me. I could slowly continue isolating. And then eventually just die. It would work, right? I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't handle life. It feels like everything is just a mess. My grandfather is dying. My father keeps doing this. And its not like this girl will ever stop this. So I'm at the end of my rope. I give up. I guess I'm going to end it all.
Sounds like a hard situation. You sound intelligent from your post. I can't imagine what you're going through because my situation and age are a lot different. However, there is plenty of time for things to improve, maybe not, but there is always a chance. Keep posting here, sometimes the path from inner turmoil starts with a friendly ear. Many ears and eyes here waiting to hear you and try to help
 

Gert

Well-Known Member
#14
Hey AnorexicGymnast,

I don't really agree with the common sentiment here, there's zero evidence that your 13 is the same as 13 for anyone else. It sounds like you have a really tough life, regardless of your age. While some change inevitably comes with age, there's really no guarantee that the specific things that are making you miserable now will change, not without intervention at least. People will still die, abusers will keep abusing. I believe the one thing that makes people feel better is change, but only if some of the bad turns into good.

The best way to achieve this is by getting professional help. No person should stay in an abusive relationship of any kind, and if it's impossible for you to leave yourself, you have to find help. I understand your sentiment of 'it's all pointless and nothing will change' because clearly there is a pattern of abuse that actually won't change without intervention. I do believe that if you manage to escape your abusers your mood will improve dramatically, as mine did when I escaped mine. Living amidst toxicity rapidly turns into surviving, and a person can only survive for so long before un-seeing the point in existence itself.

Find someone you can trust, and ask for help. If they disappoint you, ask someone else. It's the best way to get out of this mess and into a life that can bring you joy and happiness. Love and strength<3
 

uri

Well-Known Member
#15
I think about dying every day because I'm still a virgin at 65.

No girl wants anything to do with me and it pisses me of that I'm still a virgin at that age.

Other guys can get sex and affection from the pretty girls very easily but apparently I can't because I'm just an ugly and worthless loser.

I think everyday about dying and being finished already with this cruel and unforgiving world.

People like me should never have been born in the first place because all this world throws at me all the time is shit after shit.
 

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