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can i saved my loved ones from myself?

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#1
i even got timed out, i not got the energy to rewrite, but only to post the poem i wrote.

Clarity never was so near
Yet I feel it now, in one single tear
And to break away
To give me the time of day
And let the truth run deep
And be what it is to be
Could it make the hurt, simply fade away

And this day, won’t last forever
It will drift into light,
It will take all this fight
And justify, a means to an end
I no longer can, simply pretend
It is all stolen strength, courage and hope
Challenging love, it’s on a tight rope

So just hear me now, deliver my prayer
Please make it heard, do the heavens care?
It’s just me and you, I rely on you please
Don’t turn away, let me release
These chains are binding, I feel such fear
Jagging my heart, is this razor sharp spear

This smokescreen falls, across my whole life
I am dying to get out, out from the strife
I can barely speak, my heart’s at my feet
I know it will stop, it keeps skipping a beat


(My friends/family- i can't spk to. i am well aware thhey gt their own probs. they know i got mine. i go round in circles. they speak to me, i can never say a word. there is never the time, there is never the moment when they can really be there, i try ti be there..if i can help, i know they got work or something to do..it's over till next time, i say goodbye- my hearts in pain. i don't wanna say how much. i am afraid they will think i've lost it, or say they can't deal with it, and i really will be alone. my gp before nvr cared, i told her i was suicidal, i heard nothing back. i want out. i am not real, maybe i can save myself and thise i love by ending my life, as i am obv not worthy in the short term to warrant a hug or some security. i feel dead inside, and now after 2 years i don't wanna wait...until the next time..cos the pain is too hard to bear till the next day or the next hour.)
 
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#2
no! no! you are worthy of lots and lots of hugs!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

it sounds like you are not getting the support from family, friends, and your doctor that you need

your doctor really failed if you said that you felt suicidal and she did nothing. maybe try asking a hotline about a new doctor or just try to find a new one. if you tell a doctor that you are suicidal, they should get you treatment. there's really no excuse for an md to fail in that way.

ending your life would really be the worst thing that you could do for those that you love.

please get some help from a good doctor!
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#3
I totally agree with May hun you need to get a new doctor okay one that will help you feel better Call crisis line they will help you as well hun hugs
 

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#4
Please consult another physician who is more qualified...no one should be treated that way...and you ARE worth people's time and more...keep posting and let us know how you are doing
 
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