I have some supplies that I bought back in March in order to kill myself. Things got a bit better and I hadn't thought about using it for 3 months. It's just been sitting in my garage. Yesterday, as I stated in my other thread, I did think about it. The thoughts went away...mostly. I don't have a plan on when to do it but I do have a plan on how. And I feel like I need to tell her this because my anxiety meds really aren't working very well anymore while I'm going through this whole separation thing with my fiancée. I want to ask her to switch me to maybe 1mg Xanax instead of 1mg klonopin. I got the klonopin on the 29th and its already gone because i have to use a lot more than my dose for it to work for me right now because I'm really stressed out and will be until he finishes his 90 days of NA and we can move in together again. And if I don't tell her exactly how bad the panic attacks get which cause the suicidal thinking she may not want do it, but if I do tell her I'm worried she may commit me just because I have the stuff even though I'm not planning on using it at this particular time. I'm sure many of you have experience with what to say and what not to say in this case if you don't want to be committed. So I just need some of your opinions and advice. Heck, I may need it, but I really can't do it right now. It would just make things worse because I'd feel like I have no control over anything at all and won't be able to see my fiancée until they allowed it, and I'd be totally alone with a bunch of strangers. Not to mention I'm about to finish college in 2 months and graduate and if I did inpatient, that wouldn't be happening. So that's why I can't do it. I just want better medicine. So what is safe to say in this case?