With some help from a pschyciatrist and medication, I think in the long term it willl not have it effects anymore. I was better so to speak, but it feels so clinical and fake, it is like it keep me in balance, but I still have the same thoughts. Sure It keep me from thinking it and being less down, but I feel already that the effects are closing down again and that I feel more and more upset and emotional again. Even thinking of death again... Is not good, but things are still the same, only medication is trying to keep my head up, but that is going away already. My moods are down again... Last week I said to my pscyciatrist that everything is fine with me now, but I lied... I hope I do not fall deeply in a black hole... I wish I could go away from here and start a new life somewhere else...