Can it get better after isolation?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SadDude87, Dec 3, 2007.

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  1. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    People always say that things can get better, if we just hold on. But what if the problems run deeper? I have been close to completely isolated for around 2 years, and semi isolated for the last four. I remember being a sociable dude with plenty of friends, I felt on the same level as everyone else and socializing came easy to me.

    But all of a sudden I find myself so far behind. Now there is no way I can see myself catching back up. I am 20, but am not a man. Just a kid. No girlfriend, no close comrades I have been with to get to this age - noone I have shared common experiences with ... it has stifled my development. There is so much I haven't done. I genuinely don't see any way back to normality, and now I understand why people kill themselves.

    I used to hold out hope but now I am just too far behind the ball. I can't just create 4 years of experience, experience that one is expected to have in this culture. The only answer I can see is moving to a new culture.
  2. wanttodie

    wanttodie Well-Known Member

    In my case it has made my problem worse but I don't know about you.
    Isolation can be bad because empty mind is devil's workshop and that's when all the useless thoughts come to mind..People can make mountains out of moles in a situation like this..
  3. Up&down

    Up&down Well-Known Member

    Sorry you feel like this
    Catch up 4 years? there is nothing to catch up. I was drunk from 16 to 21 completely have little recolection of it, when I got myself together I was there sober and the same as everyone.
    I promise it's only in your head that you are behind everyone, you are an equal to everyone.
    There are people from all walks of life all different learning paterns all at 20 and all equal.
    Being isolated does loads of negative stuff to us, all you need to do is find some confidence walk out there with your head held high.
    It is not easy but once you do it, it will come easy it's called "fake it to make it"
    Perhaps go out with a neighbour or family member first stick your head high and it will all come, join a pool team, anything once you are out there friends will come easy.
    I remebertelling a freind I hadn't had a girl friend for a year, he replied (pre internet) " you will not find one in you front room"
    Isolation is bad for us perhaps you need to get out slowly but please try it.
    You deserve a decent life like all of us, it don't always work out that way unless we put a little effort in.
    Above is what happened to me I hope it helps
    People on here will help you 100% and you will be able to identify with some.
    Keep posting
    Get your head held high
  4. Mew

    Mew Active Member

    Isolated for three years following graduation, came out of it for a year or so, relapsed and isolated again for a year here.

    Can it get better? Maybe. Speaking from experience, that one year or so of not being isolated wasn't too shabby on the whole. I came out with no job experience, but I managed to find a job with some decent people who took me in despite my failings. Society's pretty cutthroat, but if you're lucky you can find some pretty decent peeps who won't judge you for the way you've spent the past 4 years. Course there will be people who'll judge you, but that's life. And ignore the bit about relapsing... :dry:

    As for moving to another culture, dunno about that. It may even make your isolation worse if there's some kind of linguistic/cultural barrier. And I dunno about a culture as a whole where nobody/the majority won't judge you for the way you've spent the last few years of your life. People though, you can probably count on, just be prepared for a few kicks between the legs. Not the most encouraging words, but I'll leave the optimistic speech to someone more qualified :)
  5. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Danny said everything perfectly and I hope you follow his advice. You deserve to enjoy your life and even though the thought may seem daunting at the end of the day the only way you're going to get out of isolation is making the first step. No matter how small. Take it one step at a time. I hope things work out for you. :hug:
  6. fixintodie

    fixintodie Active Member

    you thinkthe same way i do. i often wonder if moving away would do me any good. but i worry that if it didnt turn out so well i'd look like even more aloser who tried to run away from the culture and world he was raised in. Whereas when I think about suicide I feel slightly better given I won't have to deal with those sick feelings of guilt. But at the same time I feel I deserve to live just as the other people are when I see them out having fun.

    This really sucks
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