People always say that things can get better, if we just hold on. But what if the problems run deeper? I have been close to completely isolated for around 2 years, and semi isolated for the last four. I remember being a sociable dude with plenty of friends, I felt on the same level as everyone else and socializing came easy to me. But all of a sudden I find myself so far behind. Now there is no way I can see myself catching back up. I am 20, but am not a man. Just a kid. No girlfriend, no close comrades I have been with to get to this age - noone I have shared common experiences with ... it has stifled my development. There is so much I haven't done. I genuinely don't see any way back to normality, and now I understand why people kill themselves. I used to hold out hope but now I am just too far behind the ball. I can't just create 4 years of experience, experience that one is expected to have in this culture. The only answer I can see is moving to a new culture.