can not and will not do this anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kirsty_Ann, Oct 19, 2012.

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  1. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    Nobody listens and nobody feels the upset like this; I said to them after overdosing leSs than a week ago i needed a few days in hospital to pull me through as I was still actively suicidal: the crisis team and my care coordinator have just left me be and said I wasn't severe enough: they have given me help for a week and just left me to I said I needed help and noone came to give me any but instead a psychiatrist gave a leaflet on self harm to someone to give to me instead!
    I decided to just leave for a few days and decided if I wanted to take something then I just would and given the fact that they are meant to be in touch daily; not a single person has bEen in touch or been concerned I've not spoken to anyone for such a length of time.

    So they don't care if I'm alive either: fantastic

    It feels like it is all far too much: like someone can be left and I'll just make it through! Anytime off is difficult enough without this also.

    I feel really bad about wanting to die and maybe upsetting some people but even now it feels like I've got to the point where they are just there as a test to see how much I want to do this: like they can't be real in my life anyway so must just be a figure of my imagination for me to resolve myself over and they no longer seem real to me so are no longer a problem.

    I am through!! All of this crap can be left for someone else to deal with as I've had karmas share!
  2. smiles

    smiles Member

    i couldn't even finish reading ur post because i wanted to say i care. and i enjoy this world more knowing that ur still in it. u don't have to believe me, especially since im a stranger. but i do genuinely mean it. i'm gona keep reading now though, msg me if you wana talk about anything too! cause i just like talking to others. about anything.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun I am sorry your worker is not hearing your desperation. Dam eh if you need someone hun you keep talking here ok we will not judge you. It is hard hun to leave safety of the hospital If you do not feel safe then you go back to the emergency dept of hospital and tell them you are not safe and you cannot leave because you will harm yourself permanently
    they have a right to protect you hun you have to tell them though you are suicidal 100 percent not just a bit or they won't admitt you hugs
  4. ekki2

    ekki2 Member

    It helps if you think of them more like robots. They have procedures, routines, guidelines, rules. Maybe you just fall between the cracks.

    It can seem cold and machinelike, I know. They do care though - most anyway. Maybe not in the way you want, but they do.

    I care a little as well. In fact I care enough to upload this image for you, here - take a look:

    Take particular note on the institutions one.
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi K...this should be is abandonment...please do not give up...get angry, and let me know if I can call anyone on your is awful! and you are worth so much more!
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