Even after years of seeing a pdoc's and T's, I still can not directly talk about suicidal feelings. Recently I became depressed enough to seriously think about suicide. I was thinking about telling my pdoc today, but could not get myself to do it. I let him know enough to know that I had experienced serious depression, and he asked me if my meds need changing. Maybe talking directly about suicide scares me because it seems to make a routine appt a crisis, and I have been hospitalized before. I had hoped that I could directly talk about it, but the fear is still there. The more seriously I think about suicide, the less I seem to be able to talk about it.