Can some please just talk to me. Please

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Just talk, Feb 2, 2011.

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  1. Just talk

    Just talk New Member

    I am so scared. I dont know what to do. I have everything you could ever want in life. No one would ever believe me that I have been planning my disappearance for almost a year. I just dont wont to hurt everyone close to me.

    The thing is I dont want to die but I HAVE to. No one could ever understand.

    I have the most beautiful family, girl friend, friends, successful job. I really want to live a great life but it is beyonf my forces, I must die. I have no choice.

    I so scared but fake everything so that no one else hurts. What do i do?
  2. Montana

    Montana Member

    From what i understood you HAVE to die cause all the things you got in life, even tho they are considered great by most people, seem useless and fake for you.
    I used to feel like that.

    You see, you got a great place to start: you got the people (gf, family, friends), you got the cash (since you got a job). So make a list of things you consider worth doing and that could make you happy - anything goes, from a trip to the Bahamas to learning to paint - and make them happen.

    Life can seem very empty and not worthy when we go by it doind only what we are supposed to do and not what we WANT to do.

    Hope u'll get better. CYA.
  3. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Can you tell us why you feel that you HAVE to die? What are you feeling etc? What is going on in your life?

  4. Sulpher_Skin

    Sulpher_Skin Member

    I'm not going to pretend I know how you feel, we are all affected differently by depression and suicidal tendencies. What I can tell you is you have found a great support group here. We've all been down the road of depression, most of us actually still battle it day to day. Please keep communicating with us, we want nothing more then to help you through your pain.

    Please know you can PM me anytime you need, and I'll be willing to just listen to you and help you as much as I'm possibly able to.

    Be Strong,
  5. cheesewhiz

    cheesewhiz Member

    Why do you feel you HAVE to? In my case I feel that things are terrible and I have lost hope that my circumstances will ever change. What is it you were expecting and hoping for out of life that is not matching up?
  6. srhk24

    srhk24 Member

    Hi, I totally understand the faking everything so that no one else hurts, but I would bet that the people who love you would want to know how you are feeling so that they could help. Maybe try confiding in a good friend or family member - it could possibly help. *hugs*
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi. I'm a little confused on why you feel that you MUST die? You appear to have everything that people generally want out of life and have a pretty decent life, so why do you want to end your life? Are you depressed?
  8. Just talk

    Just talk New Member

    I know it sounds stupid. I am 22 years old. I have a masters degree in business. I have a great job with a big company. I have the best, most attractive girl friend that I have been with for the last 2 years. She is amazing and is my best friend. I have a great group of mates that I have know for 6 years. I have traveled all over the world. My parents are very supportive and caring and would literally do anything for me. I have a great sister and nephews.

    I seriously have the best life, it couldn't be better.

    However, I have just found out that something is wrong with me physically. I feel that i can not tell anyone. No one would understand. It is very very uncommon. It makes me feel sick when I think about it. It has ruined my life. Everything I have worked so hard for means nothing now because of this.

    I dont want to make the great people in my life sad. I know it would kill them. My parents and girlfriend would be a mess forever.

    I have thought of a few plans:

    over the next few months break up with my gf and wait until she has a new bf and someone to care for her. Then after a while either go overseas to some remote location and die where no one will ever find me. Or make my death look like an accident eg car crash.

    If they think I have committed suicide I will effect my loved ones too much.

    I am just prolonging the inevitable. This is something that I can not live with. Im sorry guys I just wanted to just let it out. Thanks for your support.

    Shit I wish could just wake up from this dream..I could have been great. What has happened to me
  9. topper

    topper Well-Known Member

    Why not tell us what's wrong with you? No one knows you. No judgment here.

    Why wouldn't your family understand? Is it something you caused, or was it something you had no control over?
  10. Just talk

    Just talk New Member

    I didn't cause it. I can't even type it. Im sorry I just can't.

    It is something that literally no one can understand. I just have to admit the fact that I have to go. It really sucks. I just want to enjoy life for a bit more and then go.

    I have to go not to have dinner with big group of mates. At least ill forget about it for the next few hours..
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I'm very curious as to what could be so bad that you would have to end your nearly perfect life? It can't be that bad.
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