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can someone explain this to me

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Its selfish of me to want to kill myself. I'm suppose to think of my friends and family and how this would affect them.

But isn't it selfish of my friends and family to want me to hang around for their benefit. Why would their selfishness be more important than my own selfishness?
Honestly, I agree.

It's incredibly unfair that we're expected to suffer constantly just so others don't have to face just how much pain we were in.

I guess when people say that maybe they think we haven't considered that fact, I really don't know.
I think when people say things like that, it's more to do with them valuing you as a person and not wanting you gone. It sounds trite very often, but how many of us come with a manual for that kind of conversation?
If you can get better, that's a solution that's good for you as well as them. So maybe the best thing that you can do is focus on getting better

If the meds you've had in the past haven't worked, you can try to get new meds or have them adjusted.

You can also try out ect. There's also something new that I've heard of called rTMS. Maybe therapy?

Acupuncture and Chinese medicine can help too.

The book in my sig. is good too.

There still stuff you can try, and I hope that you can get through this!
I'm pretty sure I am beyond any type of help. I've always been told that it will get better. Well, it hasn't.
I think it's overly optimistic for anyone to say with certainty that you will get better. It is reasonable to say that you could get better if you tried some therapies that you haven't tried yet.
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