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can someone help me, im stuck in the middle of nowhere

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by alonelyboy, Aug 28, 2012.

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  1. alonelyboy

    alonelyboy New Member

    have u ever be a foreigner in other country? imagine, i can't speak native language (deutsch ), i dont have friends nor family, i have so many problem, but i dont have anyone to talk to,
    im stuck here, it seems like problem never go away from me, i wanna go home, or going back to the past, when i have family, friends and girl friend, and it seems like my life was perfect , and i have everything before, but now i literally alone, next month will be my 23 birthday, all of my friends have been graduated from university in my homeland, but i just barely started, and next month maybe i'll get my DO letter from my university, what a perfect gift, if its not because of my parents maybe i will be long gone from this world, because i feel my life is worthless, i cant tell my problem to my parents, because i know it will make them worries, and it will make them sick, i dont want my parents get sick, espescially my mom, she has cancer, and if i tell her my problem, i cant imagine what will happen, pls anyone help me, i have so many sleepless night, i cant even think straight anymore, in my mind always though about suicidal attempt,
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I can't imagine what you must be going through. :hug: Is there any way you can go home?

    Here if you want to talk, you can PM me anytime.
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I have never found myself stuck in a foreign country so I am curious as to how you got there, why you got there initially, and how you are stuck? It might be easier to discuss the situation with more information.
  4. alonelyboy

    alonelyboy New Member

    so this is started 2 years ago, i'm not an adventurous person, i prefer stay home, or hang out together with my friends, but my parents have another desire, they wanted to me to go abroad for study and be a success man when return ,here im my country if u go abroad for job or study, u gain respect and people see u as a succesfull person and i do not blame them , because i was curious to live abroad and want to make my parents happy and proud of me, my first really problem here, when my GF decided to broke up with me, we have been together for 3 years, and that was a really big blow for me. and then i realized something i wrong with me, after 3 months stayed here (germany ) i cant feel any difference with my language, i can only speak basic words, and thats make conversation almost impossible, i tried and tried to make a new friends but because language barrier i failed , and then after 1 year of preparation i must study in university, otherwise they will send me home, to be honest i was not ready, i can barely understand what my professor said, so i failed all my exams, and so i had 1 last chance, but in 6 months. i still cant improve my language and failed again in all my exams.im pretty sure, in next month they will give me DO letter, and then i can go back to my country as a failure , maybe it was for the best. 2 years without anybody to talk to, thats really like a hell for me, but i still have a problem when i go back,
    1. i wasting 2 years time, +1 years because i must wait for my visum and preparation,
    2. i wasting so much money, 2 years living here without accomplise anything, and my family is not rich,
    3. i dont know what will happen to my mother if i come back as a failure
    i dont wanna go home, but i dont wanna live here either ,im really stuck
    maybe if i disappear from this life, its better, my parents wont be ashamed because of me
    sure it will hurt them, but it will not be long , because they still have 2 awesome daughters, who do anything better than me as a failure ( sry for bad english, language is really my weakness)
  5. alonelyboy

    alonelyboy New Member

    i'm a smoker since 2 years ago, how many packs a day do u think, i should smoke, so i can die in the next few month and make it like natural illness?
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Considering that cigarettes are expensive, perhaps try smoking no packs and save that money in order to afford to return to your country. Try asking your parents for assistance? They will not be ashamed of you if they are decent people (I would never be ashamed of my kids). In the future, do not do things because it is what you think people need you to do so that they can gain respect. They don't matter. You matter. Do what is right for you.
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