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Can someone help?

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#1
I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow. She sent me a link to go to doxy me. It said enable camera and microphone and I said no. So I’m in the waiting room until the appointment. I texted her the link works but I’m not doing camera and microphone uh uh. She replied I understand being uncomfortable. After we introduce ourselves we can switch to a more traditional call if that’s better for you. What the heck does that mean???? Does it mean we’re using camera and microphone even though I said no??? What is this waiting room?? I’m so confused!!!
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#3
I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow. She sent me a link to go to doxy me. It said enable camera and microphone and I said no. So I’m in the waiting room until the appointment. I texted her the link works but I’m not doing camera and microphone uh uh. She replied I understand being uncomfortable. After we introduce ourselves we can switch to a more traditional call if that’s better for you. What the heck does that mean???? Does it mean we’re using camera and microphone even though I said no??? What is this waiting room?? I’m so confused!!!
Ah. Telehealth. People are moving toward Telehealth. When meeting her talk about your mental illness and how meeting in person is more effective. Telehealth is more distant. Harder to read social cues, technical mishaps causes anxiety, less likely to disclose. Etc. Good luck.
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#4
I believe she meant just a normal call where you talk to each other over the phone. She sounds like she cares. I pray it works out for you. Love.
I believe she meant just a normal call where you talk to each other over the phone. She sounds like she cares. I pray it works out for you. Love.
Thanks Lekatt. I’m a little nervous but I’m trying my best. I’ve never done telehealth before. I never did Skype before moving to remote work at home when the lockdown started. The first day my boss did an unannounced Skype conference call at 9 am and I wasn’t even dressed😳 I guess I better get dressed tomorrow just in case hahaha thanks for your help. Love va
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#5
Ah. Telehealth. People are moving toward Telehealth. When meeting her talk about your mental illness and how meeting in person is more effective. Telehealth is more distant. Harder to read social cues, technical mishaps causes anxiety, less likely to disclose. Etc. Good luck.
Thanks Waves yes I don’t think I’m going to like this Telehealth but I’ll give it a shot😳 I’m struggling right now with some things and I’m reaching out for some help. I will let you know how it turns out. I hope you are having a very nice day. I’m sending ya some big hugs😁
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#6
Hey Waves and Lekatt I had that teletherapy appointment. Thanks for your help as I pretty much knew what to expect thanks to you. What I didn’t expect were all the embarrassing questions she asked 😩 I guess that’s part of it though. I’m giving it another shot next week. Wish me luck again. I hope you both have an amazing day tomorrow!
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#7
The first session is always a lot of questions. They have to understand your history and symptoms to know how to help you. It'll start being more of a conversation as you get to know each other. It must be extra awkward getting started with someone over the phone, but I hope you she is a good fit for you. *hug
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#8
The first session is always a lot of questions. They have to understand your history and symptoms to know how to help you. It'll start being more of a conversation as you get to know each other. It must be extra awkward getting started with someone over the phone, but I hope you she is a good fit for you. *hug
Ahhh so it’s supposed to be a conversation then! See I don’t even know!! It was awkward over the phone but I’m trying to make the most of it. I was given the option if in office but it’s easier over the phone now for me right now. I don’t have to leave the house. Maybe if the pandemic ends soon I’ll go in the office. I hope she’s a good fit too Sinking Ship. I’m hoping I’ll know after the next couple of appointments. Thanks so much for your help. You know I always appreciate it!!!
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
Forum Pro
#9
I too have found it awkward over the phone as feel there is something lost in translation somehow versus in person but I have been slowly getting used to it...so hope you do as well. And also hope it ends up being a good fit for you too.
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#10
Awww thanks Kiwi. I hope it’s a good fit too. She seemed like she wants to help me but at one point I felt like she was being too hard on me about something and I don’t think that’s what I need right now. I mean people ask for help for a reason and it’s hard for a lot of people to do that. If you’re going to be hard on them in that first appointment, some people won’t come back.But I’ll give it another shot next week and just go from there. Worse comes to worse, there’s a second place offering their assistance to me... I hope you have a great weekend !!!
 
#13
Different therapists can adopt, or tend to have different “styles,” as well. And by that, I mean ways they go about their business. How they do their jobs. (Their “M. O.”) _For instance I once had a guy whose approach was basically to come at you aggressively and try to break you down almost like a “bully,” within the context of what their job, & roles actually entails (from a ‘job description,’ standpoint).
I guess he felt that this was the best way to not waste any time and get right in there and get your hands dirty and start to mix things up and hope that you can lead or come to a breakthrough quicker)—

which was fine - for me -& maybe he didn’t do this for all, or even a lot of his clients/patients — as I’d imagine he’d have to adjust his style to tailor to his given person’s needs and such. But I didn’t mind the aggression / hostile approach. More so the way he’d forget facts and pretty relevant details that were not to be just glossed over from previous sessions.
It was funny, because in the beginning, I saw that he was keeping notes by jotting down (writing) by hand on one of those yellow pads / books with the lines & that you flip up over the top, of in order to turn the page 📄 as opposed to folding over sideways with regular white.
And so anyway s I’m sitting there seeing this & thinking... oh? Ok! So he’s very detail oriented as he’s taking meticulous notes, seemingly something down anytime I say anything interesting or that seem to have meaning to me. Then later on, I sort of came to the realization that this was just more so the case of how he recorded his daily notes (or whatever that record is called). And then he went and entered them into the computer, or whatever, and they got processed / filed etc. probably quickly or instantly forgotten and onto the next, clearly not overly or careful ly reviewed much prior to our next session , and so o n and so forth..

But initially I’d thought , he was keeping that entire journal or note pad for me. When in reality it was much more likely that that was what (the one) he’d used for everybody on that given day. Or however many days it took to fill it up, and then go get a replacement/or new one! ;)

but point being, once you get into it...& I’d imagine he & his style was a more unusual/or unorthodox one ☝️ (he cursed & swore like a sailor, I’m guessing he thought this was a way of building rapport; or enduring & ingratiating himself to me, even though I don’t once recall doing the same in front of him - or his presence)z
so again, a careless calculation/miscalculation or misread, if you will, on his part or behalf.
But what I mean to address is once you get going it is intended or destined to be somewhat unpleasant or uncomfortable from time to time. As you’re presumably going to be digging up some unfavorable memories or things you’re not happy with, past present or future. And the deeper these issue are, in conjunction with how long you’ve had to deal with them, can compound in such a way as to make these experiences less and less fun. But the upshot is, once you get used to this process, that is, the heavy lifting... it gets easier —& you will then also begin to see results and benefits manifesting them selves in mental health as they are able to address things for you in a way that is very difficult, if not outright impossible, to be done on one’s own. :D
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#14
Awww thanks Kiwi. I hope it’s a good fit too. She seemed like she wants to help me but at one point I felt like she was being too hard on me about something and I don’t think that’s what I need right now. I mean people ask for help for a reason and it’s hard for a lot of people to do that. If you’re going to be hard on them in that first appointment, some people won’t come back.But I’ll give it another shot next week and just go from there. Worse comes to worse, there’s a second place offering their assistance to me... I hope you have a great weekend !!!
The nice thing is YOU are in charge. So if she’s saying or doing something that you think isn’t helpful, you can tell her and she will adjust. She has to learn about you and what works best for you. Or maybe she’ll explain why she’s pushing harder about that particular trying and you might realize there’s utility in it. It just takes a bit of time to feel each other out
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#15
The nice thing is YOU are in charge. So if she’s saying or doing something that you think isn’t helpful, you can tell her and she will adjust. She has to learn about you and what works best for you. Or maybe she’ll explain why she’s pushing harder about that particular trying and you might realize there’s utility in it. It just takes a bit of time to feel each other out
Thank you so much for this!!! I hold on to these things you say to me and will keep it in mind for our next appointment! It was definitely demoralizing at one point on one thing we were talking and lol my feelings were a little hurt. But I’ll give her another try because she does seem to want to help. And I WILL let her know how I’m feeling if I ever feel this way again. I’ve never done therapy before so I’m still learning with your help. Yes it was definitely a feeling out process and at one point I felt like I cared more about saving my own life than she did. I’ll let you know how things go next week. I’m always glad when I talk to you sinking ship. You always help me so much.
 

SamIAm

Well-Known Member
#17
Do you want to say what she was saying that hurt your feelings?
Yes thank you Walker I think it would help to talk about it. I mentioned problems/conflicts at work and I was seeking some support on whether it was my attitude, how can I make it better etc. and she suggested setting boundaries with my boss and co-workers. I really liked this advice and then I told her this is what was causing the problems as my boss and co-workers count on me for a lot and didn’t like me setting boundaries. She asked if I had considered other options like quitting. I wanted more suggestions than that. But in the meantime my boss reached out to saying he wanted to talk to me Monday about these issues. So I guess maybe I SHOULD consider quitting if nothing is resolved. Then I mentioned about my broken arm several weeks ago and how I’m all healed but still feel a need to take painkillers. My surgeon says I’m all healed and maybe I feel a need to take painkillers for other reasons now which I certainly agree with. So I asked this therapist what should I do. who should I see about this issue? She just totally had a harsher tone with me and said that’s totally up to you. I can’t tell you where to go, I expected more help ya know? Maybe my expectations are too high? Thanks dude. You always help me so much :)
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#19
Plus she kept calling me by my real name which I hate and I kept telling her to call my nickname but she kept calling me by my real name.....
THIS is a problem. Frankly more than the other paragraph. She's disregarding your most basic preference by adding on the end of your name and if she can't remember something this easy then fuck her. Tell her next time at the start or send an email before you show up and if it happens more than through the next call *I* personally would start thinking about the other place to go unless she's become suddenly wonderful in other ways.
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#20
Also, stop taking the fucking painkillers man. You're literally giving yourself an addiction problem. You're watching it happen - you're letting it happen - you're allowing it - you're fully 100% cognizant this is going on and you're saying "yeah, let's do this shit". STOP IT. Do you think this is what your parents want for you? Do you think this is what you deserve? No. I get that you're hurting but you got other shit you can lean on okay? Seriously. You're better than this.
 

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