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Can someone help?

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#84
This day sucks. I didn’t quit my job but was tempted too. My therapist is right. I can continue working here, suck it up and make good money, pay the bills, save for the future etc. or quit with nothing lined up, in the middle of a pandemic. So. I’m sucking it up big time today. Bills have to be paid. But I feel like garbage. I did call the substance abuse treatment clinic and made an appointment for Wednesday. But I’m not ready to quit yet I don’t think. Stress from work is more easily managed when Im high. I’m trying really I am. Things were easier a few months ago. I’m not going to quit trying though.

I agree with your therapist here pal. Quitting your job with no back up plan particularly in the middle of this shit-vid pandemic may not exactly be the wisest if moves. Getting you head down, gritting your teeth and picking up your pay cheque may be the best option until you can get something else firmly lined up. At times you need to be pragmatic and this may be one of them. But look, that's my view anyway, of course the final decision is yours, all that's asked is that you give it a good hard think about your next move here, preferably when you are in a settled frame of mind.

Great to hear that you've got an appointment lined up on Wednesday. I hear you man about you feeling not quite ready to quit. That's fair enought but perhaps think about a couple of things :

1. When will there be a good time or will there be another excuse/reason to keep getting high?
2. Getting high, does it make things easier or is it just temporarily masking the stress which you are experiencing?

What I've said may come across as being harsh, for which I apologise for. But hey man, no one around here wants to see you spiral.
 

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#85
Looks like I was late in posting my last reply and so is partly irrelevant.
Sorry that your job got to the point where you felt you just had to walk man, but I hope you'll be able to get something sorted soon.
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#86
Eek. That's not good.
I think that sitting home doing fuckall isn't going to play well for your current situation.
 
#87
Thank you for sharing this with me MisterBGone. I have an appointment later this week and I hope it’s easier this time around!!! You are right, it’s very hard talking about some issues. It’s embarrassing, uncomfortable and I don’t like it. But I realize if I want help that I have to open up. It’s just that some of her responses are not what I expect, sorta like sternness instead of empathy. I’m not asking her to condone my addiction (maybe I am) but I didn’t expect sternness (maybe I deserve it). Thank you for letting me know what you’ve gone through in your own therapy. It helps knowing that the responses I expect won’t always be the ones that I get. I’ll keep you posted how things go. Thanks man for everything!
Just keep in mind, that she’s doing what she thinks is in your best interest. Whether or not she is right, is another matter. And ultimately up to you to decide. Though I would venture a guess that any time you’re getting used to a new therapist, there will be this grace period of anxiety, and nervousness as you are getting to know them, and their way. But eventually, over time, this hesitancy should fade. And if it does not, then that is where you need to provide her with the feedback of what you don’t seem to be responding to. Now, of the three things you’d mentioned as reasons for being uncomfortably, I’d say that those are always going to be there regardless of who you’re seeing. That’s what therapy is. It’s kind of like “physical therapy,” only to the mind, what that is to the body. So, I guess one could consider it mental therapy, in a way. Because it is hard work, and exhausting. This is why very often people do it for years, even after getting beyond their deepest darkest issues. Which probably never completely go fully away. But you learn to deal with them (with the help of a trained professional), and how to process them in a more productive manner than some of the bad habits and coping mechanisms that we all fall victim to, from time to time. If she is not right for you - that is okay - to. You have the right to choose your own therapist. And it is a very personal decision and not one to be taken lightly. Chemistry is a big thing. You don’t have to like them. Just be able to work with them.
 

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