Can someone please offer some advice.... feeling overwhelmed and suicidal!!!!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Heatdepot, Aug 9, 2010.

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  1. Heatdepot

    Heatdepot Member

    I have so many sh*t going on in my life...... please answer one or as many as you feel you can help me with!

    1. My brother is getting married soon and he wants me to attend and also serve as a groomsman. The problem is I suffer from social phobia which is why i avoid going out in public or meeting new people. I always begin panicing and hyperventilation in such situations. But my family think I'm silly and always dismiss it.

    He wants me to go fitting for a tuxedo which I do not want to do. I don't even want to go to the wedding!!!! But I am willing to go as long as I can wear casually and leave ASAP. But he insists I get fitted for a tuxedo!!!!!!

    So what can I do????? I just want to go hiking on the date and get lost if you know what I mean.

    2. Need some legal advice. I was involved in an accident few months ago and I obtained a lawyer on contingency basis. He insisted I see a chiropractor even though I wasn't seriously injured. so I went thinking that it was free and would only be paid if we won the case. Well, after 2 months, the bastard lawyer dropped my case!!!! And then the chiropractor sends me a bill for $2200!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so broke I can't pay this!!!!! My dentist died and the manager stole my money and I can't even get my dental work done!!!!!!!!!! Plus I would have ever gone there if the lawyer hadn't talked me in to it. The chiropractor also only treated me for 5 minutes and billed over $100 each time!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!

    So anyways, is there any recourse I have? I mean the lawyer never told me I would be billed if he dropped the case. Plus the chiropractor overcharged me for doing absolutely nothing. I did give them my health insurance card so can't they bill them instead???

    Please someone give me some good advice or steer me towards someone who gives good advice.

    I am sooooooooooooo depressed, crying and suicidal right now. The coolant looks really good to me right about now.
  2. wonderer

    wonderer Well-Known Member

    I can't help much with the second one, although yes, they should be billing your insurance if your insurance will cover it.

    As far as the first one goes... Your brother is trying to make you a special part of one of the most important days of his life. I understand what its like to have a social phobia, I've got one too. Good for you for agreeing to go to the wedding! Maybe you could help out in another capacity? Perhaps take pictures of the ceremony, so you can move around if you need to? Even if he has a professional photographer, it'd give you something to do and a way to be part of the wedding without being up front. Or, I don't know how this would be for you, but maybe you could usher from the back of the room. If you're not up front, you might be able to get away with nice pants and a button-down rather than a tux.

    Good luck to you! I hope you can find an option that works that you're comfortable with!
  3. ThinkingCap

    ThinkingCap Well-Known Member

    You could, maybe, on the day of the wedding pretend like you got a really terrible cold that took your voice so that you can stay away from everyone (they'd probably want to stay away from you) and not have to talk to anyone. I'm sure you'll already look pretty upset from the phobia, so it wouldn't be too hard. Maybe you could find a more casual way of wearing something that still looks black and white like a tux? Like a really nice white shirt and a black jacket? Maybe try sitting your brother down and trying to figure out a compromise, if he's perceptive at all he'll see the seriousness of it and hopefully be reasonable. How much time do you have to figure something out?

    As for your second issue, which really sucks, maybe try talking to the receptionist that they have about the insurance and what you can do about it. Then also try talking about how the lawyer was basically a jackass and see what you can do about that. If you can't do anything, or if they can't answer you, then try calling the lawyer's office and reasoning with them. Try to figure out your options-- it's terrible that they hung you out to dry like that! If they have any sense, they would help you figure something out. If that also fails, try calling to another lawyer's office of the same caliber and ask them what you can do, if anything. Maybe they could offer some advice?

    These are really difficult things to deal with, but in a few weeks, it'll all be over and you can move on. You could also try talking with your parents about the lawyer issue and see if they've gone through anything like that. You can work through these things, just take it slowly, and one at a time. Eventually everything won't seem so complex and overwhelming, and you'll be on the other side! Good luck, man.

  4. Lost.

    Lost. Well-Known Member

    You can defeat social phobia.

    I know you can because i've done it.


    By throwing yourself into the situation, accepting imperfection and being brave enough to deal with whatever happens.

    The only way to defeat fear is to face it. It sucks but, so will waking up a few years down the road in the same position because you chose to continue avoiding what made you anxious rather than facing it and conquering it.

    Giving into avoidance only compounds the problem.

    You need to get some self-acceptance. Look at yourself in the mirror. Be detached and act like you're looking at somebody else. Do you like this person? Do you see this person as a honest, caring, intelligent, respectable human-being?

    Self-approval + social experience = confidence.
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