can someone relate to this?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by letmego3, Sep 9, 2011.

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  1. letmego3

    letmego3 Well-Known Member

    i'm a male and aged 23. i've realised that my self worth must be way down because i usually don't wash my face in the morning. i use a bar of soap to wash my face at the very most two times a week. i shave once a week but if i'm in a good mood (not often) i may shave twice a week. i have never really tried facial clensers and moisturizing lotions and i don't know why.

    i never do anything to my hair because no hairstyle looks good on me. so i just leave it, and it looks so messy all of the time, like when you have just woken up, but i am used to it.

    i wear the same clothes and only change them after i have a bath, i go to sleep in them and then spend the day in them. i change my clothes a maximum of two times a week, i've had times where i've worn the same clothes for a week. i feel as if clothes are not important. i also rarely buy new clothes because i feel i don't deserve or look good in them. i do change my underwear everyday though.

    i hate my face i don't like to look in the mirror. i definitely know i am not the most attractive looking person in the world. it does not help when i have a boring personality as well.

    i feel as if i don't have a personality or identity. i feel like i'm a dark shadow and i don't acknowledge myself. it it hard to explain. i am the quiet one of the family, i show no character, i am a mystery to them. i ask myself in the mirror who am i?

    i thought maybe i have borderline personality disorder but i don't meet certain symptoms. i definitely have depression, social anxiety and avoidant pd but i always feel that there is something else wrong with my personality or identity.

    i see different people with different personalities, but i feel i have nothing inside me. i just wish i could be like these people.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 9, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    hun depression ya i have worn same clothes for weeks on end i have slept night and day same clothing not washed hair for weeks flat personality not caring if i ate or not walking dead i call it Depression sucks life out of ones soul I do hope you have help hun to pull you out of those dark times as it does get so hard to fight on ones own hugs
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    When we are feeling awful, it is very difficult to care for ourselves...this is definitely a sign that there is something wrong; no one can tell what it is on cyber...have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling to eliminate any medical complications before you ascribe it to depression or such? That is a good first place to start. When I was feeling at rock bottom, and felt like a small farm animal, I forced myself to care for myself...I felt I did not deserve to be treated well, but did it anyway...I think it helped to not secure me in my Hell...try to see if there are things you can do for yourself, even if you do not feel is a vicious cycle, and sometimes, braking the cycle helps to feel better
  4. pbobble

    pbobble Well-Known Member

    yeah depression does it to you sometimes, just can't be bothered to take care of yourself when self worth is low.

    Sometimes for me, I put on the nicest jacket I got, clean myself up, I got myself some new shoes, and I go out looking smarter than most of the people about. This helps me feel a bit better about myself and helps my confidence, in fact like that I sometimes feel pretty good about myself. My smart appearance, lends a bit of confidence to me. I've got an average face at best, a slight facial disfigurement, I'm short and overweight, so i really need to try to make the best of what I have. Also balding so I just shave it.

    Given an ideal world I'd wear the simplest stuff, I don't really think it matters, yet it helps socially to make some effort.

    I also have a naturally reserved personality, and an intellectual style which doesn't appeal to everyone. I have to push myself to lighten up, be more playful and be more assertive. It can be hard work at times, yet its often worth getting out of my comfort zone.

    Of course I generally have to feel a bit better to begin with, when I'm more depressed, I can't be bothered, although sometimes just doing it for the sake helps me feel better, anything that helps me feel better is good, because being depressed sucks.
  5. brokeneyedangel

    brokeneyedangel New Member

    i have a lot of trouble doing self care things and feel embarrassed about it. i don't brush teeth, wash my face, change my clothes. etc. glad to know it is because i am depressed. it doesn't make me feel better, though. i am so ashamed of it... it's gross to me. i am gross. but i just don't care.
  6. letmego3

    letmego3 Well-Known Member

    thank you (total eclipse, Sadeyes, pbobble, brokeneyedangel)

    i think i have to put a little bit more effort in myself even when it is really hard (usually morning time) hopefully this will help...the problem is i don't see the point in anything when i wake up...i am commited the night before...but when i wake up the shit starts again.

    i've not talked to the gp about the fact i think may have a personality disorder or something, the gp knows about my social anxiety and depression, but i think these are just symptoms of a underlying problem which may lie in some other disorder. but even if i find out if i do have another disorder...will it help?...maybe knowing what you have can allow you to find a way to fix it.

    i'm going to try a bit more as 'i don't care about my appearance' attitude may have been reinforcing my depression. (pbobble) you said you need to make the best of what you have...i think that is the key...i focus too much on trying to be perfect but i am never close to it so i usually give up.

    i've been like this since my mid teens, i was like this back then, i think it may just be part of my personality rather than depression. i don't know. maybe i have been depressed but i have only just realized that as i compare myself to other people. it could be that i have been in a subtle state of depression for all these years. or it may just be my upbringing and environmental factors which has made the person i am now.

    the bottom line is that i am not happy with my appearance and personality. i don't know what to do to change this...i want to change my personality...i don't know why i am like it because the way i grew up and what i've experienced in life and now i am this person, or depression, or personality disorder, social anxiety, maybe it is a bit of everything combined. i just don't know what i want. maybe i'm crazy.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 10, 2011
  7. anne1122

    anne1122 Active Member

    When I am really bad, I can go for days without even showering. Same clothes, no deoderant. Been there. stay in bed all day, no calls, no e-mails. its okay. You will get through it. I can tell you, after a nice bath wash your face with one of those facila things, you will feel better. put on something clean, even if its PJ's, :) Give it a shot. Nice clean sheets in bed always perks me up :bubble:
  8. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    You got to be careful if single - anyone married would be told to shower each day - or anyone in a relationship.

    But I'm vain - I come into contact with too many women to allow myself to go bad. but I can stay in a few days if bad - not wash - but nobody is going to notice.

    Shaving does not matter - I could miss a shower - but usually brush my teeth three times a day at least.

    But if going out be it work or socialising - I like to be very clean - just in case! You never know what will happen!

    And fresh bedsheets - very important! Its nice to fall into fresh bedsheets - pillows fluffed up - fresh pillow cases.

    Even if you were unwashed - it takes 15 mins to get spick and span - and clean as a bell!

    But if your bed was unclean - I think any woman would make a hasty retreat and in my area - tell every other women.

    But - my concern is for MY health and wellbeing.

    Clean means healthy.

    Depression is worsened when we feel dirty.

    So - go shower!

    Good luck out there - I'm sure we'd all be VERY clean if we had to meet each other!

    but sure- I know how it goes - and have been gross also I'm sure!
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