Can someone tell me why i feel this way?

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by the tattoo(tadihuu), Apr 20, 2007.

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  1. the tattoo(tadihuu)

    the tattoo(tadihuu) New Member

    Hey guy's and girls. im a 18 year old boy and I have like this little thing in my life that keep on bugging me and make all my life look sad!

    It all started when I started to transfere schools in the first years of my education (im danish, so please forgive me for the bad typing:)) i keept making new friends but all of them started dislikeing me after some time, and I did'nt know why. Finally I figured out what the problem was, i sounded and acted just like my dad in school, and people hated me for it.

    my dad was always stressed and yelled/screamed at me for the little things. He is a school-teacher, which then made me think diffrently about my regular teachers (i did'nt trust them).
    my parents finally got a divorce and I moved in with my mom, but then she tried to kill herself (I was told by my dad she tried, the docters only said she could'nt think about anything else but bad things), so im not sure if she even tried.
    anyways she was sendt to the phy-hospital for the basic treatment. I hated her, and my dad kept making it worse by making me feel bad about myself, not carying about I tried to kill myself 3 times.
    it was a hell long year I spent with him. I then moved back with my mom, because I was denided (can't spell it:p) the right to move out by myself. Im now planing to move when I have the money. I have some friends, and been sendt to a ton of docters by my mom, i feel glad some times.

    But... every time I pass the brighe to my house I think about jumpin for a long time... I get sad for no apparent reason, and It keep getting worse... (well sometimes im lucky and can get a full day without it:D) I have been on anti-deprissive, and alot more. why do I still feel like that killing myself is the only solution to my problems...?
  2. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member

    aww i wish you didnt feel this way :(
    it doesnt sound like you've had a very easy time, but you still have to keep fighting.
    talking from my own experience, once i got suicide into my head, it wouldnt go out, and it seemed i would turn to them thought as soon as anything went bad. you need to distract yourself. think of something else when you pass that bridge.

    keep yourself busy and remind yourself of the good things in your life

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