Can someone try to talk me out of this? I don't want to do it...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by AsphyxiateOnMisery, Jan 17, 2012.

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  1. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    He's going to do heroin again and he's offering me some. It's so hard to say no, especially since I'm sick and feel like shit as it is. I only have about an hour until he comes home. Please help.
     
  2. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    ((((((SAA))))))... I'm struggling myself, so I hope that I can express my feelings in a way that will strike a chord with you. I've been clean for many years now (cocaine was my drug of choice, but I had many friends who were gripped by heroin, a few didn't make it), and know from experience that averting a relapse when all the stars seem to be aligned for using is extremely difficult. All that I can really say is that you've worked so hard to get to the point that you are at, and you deserve a life where you aren't controlled by heroin. I'm sure you know that your SO wants you to use so that he doesn't have to feel like the only piece of shit junkie in the room (not calling him a piece of shit, just all too familiar with that feeling). I also know that it's hard to see that you truly deserve so much better than that life. I hope my reply hasn't come too late, but either way, just know that I truly care. You have a friend in me. Sending hugs and friendship and wishing you strength...T :console:
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun then leave okay go somewhere he cannot reach you to the neighbors even until he goes away Please hun it is not worth it You lock doors and don't answer please be good to you
     
  4. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Just wanted to let everyone know I didn't do it. My mind came up with enough reasons not to and I just sealed the deal by taking my suboxone. Can't take both because it'll make me sick.
     
  5. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    At least you didn't do it. :hug:

    Mixing drugs makes most people sick. It's good that you didn't give in and that your mind gave you enough reasons not to do it.
     
  6. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    so glad that you took the subox that will help ease the cravings, heroin had me trapped too and its so hard to get out of but im living proof that it can be done ... keep up the good work Kia kaha - be strong
     
  7. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Thank you. It was pretty difficult, but I'm proud of myself for not doing it.
     
  8. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    I'm happy that you made the right decision. I don't know if I would of done that if I was in your shoes. I'm glad that your proud of yourself for beating the urge. Hope the rest of your day/night goes well.

    Trevor,
     
  9. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I dont know, I actually kind of lied. I wasn't even all that proud, really. I just knew i was supposed to be, so i thought i was. But in truth, I didn't really do a GOOD thing. I just stopped more bad things from happening. It's not like anything got better from me doing it (or not doing it, rather).
     
  10. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    That's still a good thing by stopping more bad things from happening. I can understand why nothing really got better from "doing it (or not doing it, rather)." At least your still sharing you thoughts, and I hope your week gets better :hug:

    Trevor,
     
  11. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Well, I messed up. It got to be too much when I caught him with it again and I took it to calm down. I can't do anything to fix this. I can't go through with the threats I make to try to stop him. I need help. I can't do this on my own. If he gets any worse, I really need someone to help me leave. But how? Who can possibly help me with that? This is awful. I'm no different than someone who gets physically abused and can't leave.
     
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You need to sign yourself into treatment to get off the stuff and you need to walk away go to a friend anywhere it is your chose only you can protect you hun do it now get out now okay
     
  13. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    It's not a matter of choice. I am 100% controlled by my fears at this point, and can only act accordingly.
     
  14. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    That's typically almost everyone's dilemma. I can see why you would act accordingly and it does make sense. Whatever you choose will be based on your decision - fears will likely play a major factor it seems and that seems normal.

    Trevor,
     
  15. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, but how is that normal? It screws up my life.
     
  16. Dreamless

    Dreamless Well-Known Member

    A couple cannot exist together unless both are at least heading in the same direction, or have some understanding, some boundaries. He should at least keep it from you. Offering you some is a very uncaring act. Misery wants company but this is someone he loves and cares about. If you are trying to get or stay clean, he should respect that. Sounds like you two need to sit down and talk about this at length (at a time when both of you are sober, or at least as sober as possible). (Just giving my two cents. Not trying to preach at all. Just offering ideas. It's a tough situation, indeed.)
     
  17. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    He doesn't purposely do it in front of me, he tries to hide it. Problem is he's not very good at it. And the fact that I know the signs doesn't help any. I almost kicked him out yesterday, but once again, couldn't go through with it. He promised he would go to rehab though next time he does it. All I can do at the moment is hope that's true.
     
  18. Dreamless

    Dreamless Well-Known Member

    Damn. Like I said. Tough situation.
     
  19. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    It's the worst...I think if it wasn't for a couple of things in my life that I care about, I would just off myself. I'm not one of those people who likes life. And, unfortunately not one of those people easily manipulated by therapy, either.
     
  20. Dreamless

    Dreamless Well-Known Member

    Yeah. People say you can get high on life. That's true. But unfortunately, you can also build up a tolerance.
     
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