can somone help me please?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by qwerty69, Nov 1, 2008.

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  1. qwerty69

    qwerty69 Member

    Im about done. One kick in the teeth to many. The only thing that keeps me here are my children, but they are away this weekend. Im scared Im going to do something.
     
  2. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    just keep thinking of our children look at photos, think about how there life will be with out you. do something that occupys your mind keep your mind busy and away from suicide. you can do this by working on your car playing a video game or watching your favorite movie, just keep your mind busy.
     
  3. qwerty69

    qwerty69 Member

    Its 6am here, I have been up all night, not for the first time. The only thing stopping me is the thought of my children not having a mother, but i dont know if its going to be enough.
     
  4. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    talk to a good friend tell em how you feel if there a real friend they'll give you words of comfort and urge you to live. if worst comes to worst you could go to a hospital and tell them your suicidal then they may put you in a mental hospital or they might get you some anti-depresents
     
  5. no point

    no point Well-Known Member

    Hang on to that thought :hug: You can get through this. Are you getting any professional help? You can PM me if you'd like.
     
  6. qwerty69

    qwerty69 Member

    My children are home, its almost 3am here, and what am i doing?
    I researching on the net on how to kill myself next time they are away.
    The fake face I have to put on for everyone outside, pretending im not sinking
    fast. Im so tired. I cant afford doctors. I cant afford anything. I can barely afford to
    feed us, and now the bank is trying to take our house. Im done. My children would be
    better off without me, and living with their father, he can give them everything i cant.
    i dont want tomorrow to come.
     
  7. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    :hug:

    Your children need you hun. Have you tried to get any outside help? Just keep on thinking about your children and fighting the feelings, and you will come out a better person.
     
  8. qwerty69

    qwerty69 Member

    I have been fighting the feelings for years, but they are getting stronger and overwhelming.
    i have no help. Everyone says it will get better, my question is when? Ex husband has done everything he can to ensure I lose my house, and now it looks like i am. I was one payment behind because of one of my childrens ongoing medical bills. Bank has filed a claim for my house. Ex is wealthy, he can provide for them. I have been fighting with everything I have to provide for years, and now im at an end. Just how much can one person deal with alone? Answer: about this much before it gets too much.

    I have to ring the bank in the morning and beg for them not to take my house, the anniversary of my mothers death was last week, one of my children is in and out of hospital, but the bank dont care, a payment of less than $400 and they want our home.
    I hate my life, there is no joy, no pleasure, just pain and loneliness. Thats it.
     
  9. qwerty69

    qwerty69 Member

    I also have to confess. I tried to hang myself last week. I took the belt off my neck
    just before i passed out. I woke up an the floor. I couldnt have my children find me
    like that.
     
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Remember how much your children need you to be there for them. Even if they are away and you think that is the time to go, who comes home to find you? Who is left to deal with the aftermath? Many people mistakenly think that once death comes it is over for everyone. There are so many things the survivors have to take care of in the days, weeks, and months to follow. It isn't just a matter of emotional well being. The paperwork, estate settlements, going through personal effects, if the house isn't paid for and in someone else's name, it must be sold and cleared out. That is only the beginning. So many things. Please don't even consider suicide as an option.
     
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't try to hang yourself again hun. It would forever traumatize your children if they found you like that. I know you feel hopeless right now, since you might lose your home, but there is still hope. Don't give up yet. :hug:
     
  12. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello querty69,
    It isn't just you the whole USA are feeling it. People are getting forclosed on right and left because our economy is in the toilet right now. We are in a ression and they are talking that it is leading to a depression. So don't harm yourself. Stay alive for your children.
    My therapist tells me that you aren't a failure as long as you keep trying. If you give up then you are a failure. That little thought keeps me going. amongst the coping skills she has taught me.
    Have you taken your ex to court for child support and alimony? He is liable for both because he has to provide for those children!! You may want to check into that. I wish you luck!!Stay Strong for yourself and your children!!~Joseph~
     
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