So, mood wise, I'm not as bad as usual today, but thoughts of killing myself still keep going through my head. Or maybe it's more accurate to say that I just wish I was dead. Still can't imagine ever being happy. Still low energy. Still want to hide in my apartment and never come out. Still don't like the world. Just not as "sad" as a typical day. Not happy either. Does thinking about killing yourself become a "habit" after having thought about it for so long?