I sit here on the dawn of another day and wonder why I bother. I can just about manage the essentials of work, clean clothes, showering etc but I have no motivation to do anything else. I have to go to work 5 days a week and that gets me out the house but other than for shopping (essentials) then I go nowhere nor do I see or speak to anybody. I avoid all social situations. I feel tearful and down all the time and just want to sleep when not working. In reality I feel that my life is off track and I get no enjoyment out of day to day things and really just do not want to be here living in hell for much longer. I am not going to commit suicide because I would not have the guts to do that although I have contemplated this in the past. So what went wrong ... not sure where it all began to go wrong but I know the putting on a lot of weight (now 20 stone, 280lbs) and how I got judged by others led to low self confidence and esteem and the feeling that I did not fit in anymore. I have also lost all trust in people as I have been let down and hurt by family and friends. I also had a bad time early 2010 when I was hospitalised through A&E and had to spend 10 days in hospital following an operation to save my badly infected foot and then I had a 3 month recovery period while the wounds healed but still now I get a lot of pain in that foot most days. It was infected due to me having Diabetes and not knowing so a simple infection spread quite rapidly. This was hard to deal with at the time and the longer term ramifications of how diabetes will control my body and could lead to me blinded, limbs amputated and other nasty things really does depress me. Also got high BP and Cholesterol. I know these medical conditions are being controlled with drugs and that it is my own fault due to my lifestyle but it still does not make it easier to deal with. I am 43, single, lonely, no friends, bored with life. My question then is can things get better ? Bobert.