Can U Give Your Perspective Of Me Choosing To Be Truly Homeless

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Righteous, Mar 1, 2010.

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  1. Righteous

    Righteous Well-Known Member

    Hello u all. Last month I got laid off from my job, and now I stay with my grandma. I like my grandma and all, but I miss being on my own. Plus I miss my city which is Little Rock, AR. I 've been living there for 7 years and I love it. My grandma lives in a small town 1 hour away from Little Rock. The population is less than 1,000. I have nothing against small towns, but its just that this particular town is very depressing and has too many drug addicts and alcoholics. I'm having a hard time adjusting even though I've been here for a month.

    As far as surviving financially, I just been approved for food stamps, they now call it SNAP. My income tax refund is about to come in. And I plan on selling blood every week to keep some money. I plan on living in parks and abandoned houses and buildings that are not owned by anyone. I will live like this until another job comes around, even if it takes months or years to find one.

    I'm 25 years old and I don't like the idea of living off of someone else because I'm a grown man. My family may not be pleased with me doing this, but they have to understand how much it hurts me to have lost my living territory ( if u recall, I use to sleep in my car while living in parks ).
    I don't have a car now, but that doesn't bother me, I just want to be back in Little Rock.

    I plan on living a solo life and devoting my life to spiritual peace. I guess u can say I'm trying to live like a monk. In this case, an urban monk because I will still hang out with family and friends. The thought of me living homeless and on my own brings me joy while the thought of me staying with my grandma brings me down. And just imagine if it gets worse and I have to live with my grandma for the rest of my life, or shall I say the rest of her life. How do u all view me wanting to be homeless and on my own rather than living with my grandma?
  2. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    It might be tough finding a job while homeless.
  3. Righteous

    Righteous Well-Known Member

    Not really, I found my last job while homeless. I can still use one of my friends' of families' address and also use their place to keep my clothes
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    you've been homeless before? me that's my greatest fear...over here we have harsh winters and for a woman to be on the streets, lots can happen...I know there are war turfs that some homeless people will fight over...

    you know living with your grandma isnt that bad...and its not forever, like you said you're looking for a job right? so take it as a temporary setback...there's no shame in taking a few steps back in order to take a big leap doesnt make you less of a man...its okay to accept help when you need it...and then when you can move on, do so...

    I mean that's what family and friends are need to put yourself in arms' way...
  5. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    You really have to look at this realistically. Like Aoeu said, finding a job will be harder homeless. All your bills need an address, for job interviews you need to be clean and well presented. You'll need places for clothing and such. Washrooms? You'll have to be near 24/7 public access, and there will usually be more homeless people there. How will you get from place to place before you have a job? Let alone feed yourself? What about in the cold temperatures? In the hot you are going to sweat, so you'll need a change of clothes for work/job interviews, but where will you keep them? Where will you keep anything..

    And lets not forget the psychological affects of not having your own domain and security. Being on edge for a long period of the day.. .
    Yeah ..
  6. Righteous

    Righteous Well-Known Member

    1) I found a job last time while homeless
    2) I can use one my friends' or families' address like I've been doing
    3) I can take the bus for transportation
    4) I can use family and friends' house for washing or just use a laundromat
    5) I get food stamps so I can buy food
    6) I can dress warm during the winter such as wearing several coats, shirts, and pants
    7) I'm already going though some psychological affects living with my grandma, because I actually miss being homeless

    Thanks for your concern though
  7. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Don't take this the wrong way, but you say you don't like living off of other people. Well, effectively if you do what you are saying, and use other peoples homes to store and wash, you are living off of them, even more so than now. You have to try and think from their point of view. They are going to be directly linked to your life. Everytime you leave their house they will worry about you, everytime you come back they will worry about you.
    I mean, that's not being independent of anyone. If a friend of mine chose to do this, and wanted to use my home, I would let him. And I'd be worried sick about him all the time. Id rather he stay with me, find a job he enjoys, and find his own place so he has some stability. The streets make you hard.. and not in a good way. You say you've been there so ok. Maybe you have a need to punish yourself, or maybe you really prefer it. But if it's a life of solitude, ever considered looking into monasteries or something alone those lines?
  8. Righteous

    Righteous Well-Known Member

    See below
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 1, 2010
  9. Righteous

    Righteous Well-Known Member

    But the fact that I will only be around them sometime rather than all the time is what makes me comfortable, because I don't want to overstay my welcome
  10. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    I don't think you understand.. they are going to worry about you 24/7. It might make you more comfortable because you think you're being less of a burden but if anything you're being more of one. They want you to be safe, not out on the streets alone. It seems like your wanting to convince us it's a good idea for you to choose to be homeless and I really don't think you're going to find that.
  11. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    There's a big difference though from bunking at your friends house for a bit, or even visiting from day to day, to leaving possessions and using their facilities. Their home is not just their home anymore at that point, which is the same as you living there, except they have the added point that you are living and sleeping outside in the streets/abandonded houses/buildings exposed to everything out there.
    I can understand not wanting to overstay your welcome, but that's a big demand to put on someone unless they completely understand and are willing to mentally block out all possibilities and leave you utterly too it. That's difficult for a friend or family member to do. And I suppose they might feel the same way regardless if you used their place or not, just the sheer knowledge that you are out there alone.

    Can I ask what exactly is so appealing for you to live homeless?
  12. Righteous

    Righteous Well-Known Member

    Staying by myself with my own privacy and space. Plus its a fun adventure. I'm very bored in my grandma's town. She's a fun person to be around but the town is boring and depressing. I want to go back to Little Rock where I know some good people. I'm tired of seeing the same ole drug addicts and alcoholics. Yes, I know that Little Rock has those too, but there are still some good people up there
  13. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Drug and alcohol addicts are generally more common in larger cities. Except they'll be a bit more intense.
    Privacy and space comes with your own place though. Atleast in that, if you want to wonder the streets, you can for as long as you want, and come back to your own place. Get a glass of water when you want without worrying or having to ask for some. Internet access too, I mean, using the library all the time can be daunting.

    What exactly are you going to do that is so adventerous?
  14. Righteous

    Righteous Well-Known Member

    Its just the art of survival that is so adventurous. Being out all the time. I like going to the movies. I like going to the bookstore. I like going to bars and restaurants. The success of making it through the day makes the time go smoother. To me its better than sitting in the house with nothing to do but watch TV.
  15. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Ever thought survival programs? True survival programs?
    I mean, when people go to work(which you are suggesting you will do when you are homeless) they do for a certain amount of hours a day. Then they go home. You would go, to the streets. In both cases, you have your time. Your free time to do what you wish with it. Sitting infront of the tv or infront of the computer or whatever, is a choice, your choice. You can choose to not watch tv, but to enlist your time into something more beneifical to you. Like learning about true survival programs and going and learning from people who actually have techniques and skills.

    Don't take this the wrong either, but if you can not chose to turn the tv off, and do something positive for yourself, that's adventurous, I would sincerly question your drastic choice of lifestyle change.

    It's easy to change everything sometimes, then it is to actually look at ourselves in the moment, and change the littles things. The adventure will be there, regardless of where you live. The only difference is, how will you be going about it.
  16. Righteous

    Righteous Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all of your input. Please feel free to keep posting your perspectives. I'll probably be back to view this forum Friday when I have access to a computer
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 1, 2010
  17. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Take care of yourself Righteous
  18. yorkie bar

    yorkie bar Well-Known Member

    I'm not an expert, but they do say, that some homeless people can never,whats the way to say it? integrate/ be homed again. You get so used to living outside it, you actually prefer it.

    By the way, i'm facing this prospect myself at the moment.
  19. Robin

    Robin Guest

    I did not enjoy my time on the streets, even if it was only for a couple weeks. Nowhere felt safe to sleep and the places that did feel safe were littered with human excrement and used condoms.

    The first few nights were spent wandering the city looking for somewhere I felt safe to fall asleep, in the end I settled on a park bench like so many, sleeping head first in my sleeping bag so I didn't have to risk taking my trainers off and waking up to find them stolen.

    When it got really cold (it was mid winter) I would use the spare change I had to spend 10 mins in a portable loo, they were heated but were made to eject unwanted visitors who wanted to do more than just empty their bowels.

    Not sure why I did not sleep over parking vents, they're often warm too and there was one nearby but in the open, maybe something spooked me, it was a while ago.

    When I did have a place I fell ill, I lost a weeks work, which meant I was able to afford the rent each month but was short of food money. I lasted about a week or two bleeding rectally before I went home.

    I would have starved if I didn't, I wasn't able to beg so I could eat and even though there were so many tempting targets in the form of cars to break into I couldn't even do that.

    There's nothing glamorous about street living, if you can't be dissuaded at least keep an open bus ticket or something of that kind so that if things go to pot you have a way back to your grandparents.
  20. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    Might I suggest a different path? Do you know the Appalachian Trail? It goes from Maine to Georgia. Rather then staying in one place you can travel across the East Coast. Its a wonderful experience. You will meet great people along the way. There are shelters that you can stay in and get good exercise and a good tale to tell your grandkids. Living on the streets is in no way glamorous. You could end up dead for no reason than peopl like to fuck with homeless people. Why not go on a cross country trip rather than squating in one town? And if you are really serious about the homeless life and wandering why not try going down south?

    But in all seriousness, a little bit of swallowed pride is not worth a life on the streets. Do what you can from where you are to better yourself. Get out there, there is always work to be had. It sounds that you might be miserable because maybe you don't have enough things to occupy your time. Get active. You won't feel like you live with your grandmother. Plus if its only an hour away, why not just take a bus and visit?
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