I have started going to psychiatric hospitals when I was sixteen. I am now twenty four, and over those years I have been to psychiatric hospitals over fifty times in my life. This seems like an every day occurance. I get depressed, I get anxious, and then I automatically jump to being suicidal or taking measures to hurt myself so that I can go to the hospital. I just constantly feel the need to check myself into the hospital. I know that I have been so much that they are more of a hurt than a help now. But i'm still just yurning to go. I think i'm going crazy. How can you be addicted to a psych hospital? I just want to not feel this anymore. I am feeling more and more latly that I have to do something to get in. This is where the self harm comes in. I'm terrified that one day I will accidently take it to far. I just want to feel normal. My moods change so often that I don't know what the hell to do. How do I overcome these urges and live a productive life?