I am feeling quite content at present. I love being with my fiance I feel a lot more relaxed now he is here than I did a couple of weeks ago. However I am still thinking of suicide and I am still trying various methods, though not the big planned one yet. I have had so much bad news the past few weeks I just dont know how much more I can take. I am now really at risk of being made to take a break from university as I now have to be refferred to occupational health and my cousin died last week of such a horrible gruesome death it is awful. Although I seem to be at peace, I am struggling so much right now.