Can you connect with anyone?

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Ziggy, Jan 29, 2009.

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  1. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    Someone posted this in another thread...

    As I didn't want to ruin that thread I've posted my thoughts here...

    Let's say on this site I make a friend. Well that person doesn't really know me very well. They have an image of 'Ziggy' in their mind which they may like but that isn't really 'me'. So they don't like 'me', but only their own mental image of me. Agreed that's not socialization. However, in real life, someone may take a liking to me, they may think I'm funny, or caring, but that's not me either. That's also only an image of 'me' that they've created in their mind.

    When you act out your life to meet these mental images then people like you, but when you fail to meet these expectations, then they don't. So all you are trying to do in life is not to be you but to be this 'other' you that people have created. If that's the case then what connection do you have with other people at all?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 29, 2009
  2. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    No i can not connect with anyone.
     
  3. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    That's crap. Other than liars, I believe that online interactions have the capability of being more valuable. It allows you to remove some inhibitions that limit you to acting certain ways... I feel I act more like who I truly am online than when I'm interacting in real life. Admittedly, in-person interaction offers a lot that being online does not, but being online also offers a lot that in-person doesn't. That's my opinion, anyhow. I spend most of my time online because I'm scared of people in real life, and I don't really know what to do.
     
  4. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    hoorah!!!!!!!!!!! finally a thread which is half decent!
    i think a bit like you, all anyone will ever see is your "character" that you put forward as a representation of yourself, and they have thier "image" of you which you often find yourself trying to fill the boots of.
    only problem is that with depression myself and an old friend of mine have talked and both have observed that however shit we feel as soon as others are around we change personality, to a happy go lucky joyous person. its not that we do it conscioussly and can only see it in hindsight, at the time we dont know we're doing it, we just automatically do it. so due to this i would say that socialization is for the want of a better term "fake", rather a theatrical event. in my line of work i am constantly giving lectures and tuition to the public and i despise it for many reasons yet when i go "on stage" i become a charismatic, intelligent professional.
    i do believe humans have a biological need for socialization, similar to many social animals it can be damaging to not socialize although whether or not the falsity of the socialization makes a difference or whether it is that this falsity is common (possibly even universal)
    it would be interesting if someone on here had expertise on the subject and could give us a more informed opinion as i find this interesting.
    once again GOOD THREAD
     
  5. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Deom my own expiriance
    online interaction is far not the same as in real life
    its been 1 year since i really interacted with anyone outside of cyberspace
    and i find it hard to communicate in real life now
     
  6. Eric

    Eric Well-Known Member

    As one of my teachers said, it is easier to control how you represent yourself online than in any other environment.

    This means that the other person only knows the things you want them to know with minimum flaw exposure.

    Whilst I agree with the psychotherapist quoted, there's only half truth in that. Online socialization still counts as socialization. Humans are social animals. The difference between a hermit who talks to no one and a person who only talks to people online is evident: the latter person is more likely to be more stable and secure, or at least that's the impression I get.

    I still believe that having online interactions alone is not as healthy as having face-to-face interactions, even if you talk on the phone with the other person.

    We seem to be more trusting online, but that's only because we could care less about what someone living thousands of miles away thinks of us. Would you tell that person the same things if you just met each other personally? Doubt it.

    In the end, however, it all comes down to what masks people choose to wear. There are honest people and there are liars; decide who is who for yourself.

    As for the topic's question, I can connect to a very small number of people only. Some are online, some are offline.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2009
  7. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    I don't believe that online communication isn't socailization.
    you're talking to someone arent you? that's socailization.
    sure, it isnt the prefered method of socailizing with people, but it still is one.
     
  8. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    There's more to it than wearing masks though. Let's say I meet someone and for one evening I come across in a positive light, I'm interesting, outgoing etc. Now the next day I think "Who the hell was that? Was that me?" because if that person saw me again there's no way I could be the person that they'd met. (which is why I'd never see them again). That's not wearing a mask though, there's no intent to be anything other than genuine.

    I once read this book where this person was arguing that everybody has multiple personalities in distinct regions of their brains. It's natural and not an illness unless these personalities aren't aware of each other. So I think what happens is that a 'minor' personality may become dominant, which the 'major' personality is completely different from and can't really understand, so who you are is just which personality is acting at the time. And if people like the minor personality more than the major one, well your buggered basically. (Although I think people don't really know your personalities and create yet more personalities for you... it's all a bit spooky really)

    In this case it would be argued that your personality changes, in that a 'different personality' area of the brain takes over the 'current personality' area. Though this is probably my 'talking shite' personality posting at the moment.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2009
  9. Aleth

    Aleth Well-Known Member

    It is socialisation, but if you also suspect that a face-to-face encounter with the same person would not go well, then obviously the socialisation is just a hall of mirrors and not the real thing.
    Humans have a tendency to fill in the blanks using their imagination, especially so online where the view of another person is quite limited.
     
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