Nice day to you stranger! I have one question for you. How can someone, who is scared of contact with people ask anyone for help? On every website or forum I see „ask people for help“ or „find a therapist“ but how can I do that, when I am scared of even calling my friends on phone? Sure, I was on therapy once. I found on the internet some psychotherapist and ask him for meeting, he wrote me back, really nice guy, so I came and had a nice chat. I was feeling good about myself, „I am doing something with myself" looking forward our next meeting. Day before meeting I've got a message he can't come, and postponed it to next month. You have no idea how betrayed I felt - for no reason, because i knew he has his own life. I wrote him that I want to cancel my sessions and deleted contact – for no reason. Why the f***did I do that?! Who knows. I have great family and they would help me if I ask them, but I can't talk about it. In school i had my best friend with me so it was fine, because he had my back and I could rely on him. Then, he went on different high school so I was screwed - but fine, I survived it... . Somehow. And now in two years I droped from college – twice! And I am screwed again, this time more than ever. I could not go to classes with others, we had 30 people in our group. I mean – how can I work like this? Where? You cant avoid people in work, unless you are a lighthouse keeper. But our country does not even have a sea so… I know my „problems“ are nothing in comparison to some others on this forum, but our pain is the Biggest for us. It's funny, I still have all of my dreams written on a piece of paper, but I can't learn how to play piano myself, even buy a dog – how would i take care of him? I couldn't even call a breeder. What should I do? Should I send an owl to Dumbledore and ask him about some magic or what? I held it in myself too long, scared of sharing it with anyone, but now my cup runneth over. I doubt this „confession“ will make any different, but writing to "someone" is better way to sort my thoughts than writing to myself. Have a nice day!