I hope so because I can't face a lifetime of falling apart every time life happens to me. I'm OK as long as everything goes OK, but the minute something I don't like happens it sends me off on that damned spiral again where I get scared of myself and avoid people for fear I will scare them or lose them as friends. Take the past 2 days ~ two totally different people. Yesterday it was hot and sunny and I went and spent all day doing something I love and to make it better I had to overcome some of my nervous and anxious demons to do it but I did and I felt worth something last night. Then today, I'm at work 5 minutes and get told I'm being investigated for actually sticking to the rules, that someone has complained and although the basis of their complaint is that I followed the rules I still may be suspended pending investigation. It's the rules they don't like not me, I can do nothing about that, this person wanted a scape goat and apparently that had to be me. So I'm left to stress for a few hours and work myself up and then get a 2nd hand apology and an explanation that they were just angry at the time. That's it end of as far as everyone else is concerned, so why can't I forget it? Why do I dwell on it and feel like I've just been treated really badly and don't matter at all? It's over but I can't let it go..... And then yet again someone tried to involve me in something that has nothing to do with me, they're Harrassing someone else yet I am just so angry again that I have been put in a situation where if I do nothing I upset one person and if I do something I'll upset another. I hate confrontation and just want to live in my own little bubble right now. Yet in here it feels so lonely, and out there after today is scary and confrontational. I can't win. Why is it that I turn into this complete wimp who hides away and totally avoids confrontation whenever something happens. I just throw my toys out the pram and run away from it - even though this time I have actually done nothing wrong initially - I just don't have the courage to stand up for that belief, 'cos usually it's all my own doing so people will think that one way or another I've brought it on myself. I want to properly get better so I can deal with this stuff like an adult and not a spoiled little brat, I'm not even sure that's possible. After 20 years I'm tired of it now.