In other words, can you push yourself into being physically attracted to someone? I have ALWAYS wondered this. Mainly because I am - personally - so disillusioned with what I view as being attractive. I am so typical, I hate it! I regularly meet men who are sweet and kind, thoughtful and smart, well dressed and polite and on paper would make a great husband or boyfriend. But I just do not fancy them. My mother and aunts (and all of the older women in my family) regularly say things like "oh if I could go back in time I'd pick that guy who really loved me. The sweet kind one instead of the attractive bastard who I ended up with". And they all laugh and have rounds of 'here here' etc. And it makes me think! I'm exactly the same, attracted to those good looking assholes who will go on to treat me like dirt and I am bored of it. I want to pick the nice guy, I want to date the sweet guy, the nerdy guy, the polite guy, the one who looks good on paper. I just don't know how I can start making him look good to ME. Is it even possible to change your perception of what is attractive? And how do we form attraction anyway? Surely it's something that has been imprinted onto our brains somehow, because personally my views on attraction have changed drastically over the last twenty years, so there must be a way to change it yet still, right? Thoughts?