Can You Have A Relationship With Someone Who Has The Same Problems?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Deano, Dec 4, 2009.

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  1. Deano

    Deano New Member

    Has anyone had a relationship with someone who has had similar, or the same, problems as them?

    I'm really keen on a woman that I met through mutual friends who has the same problems as me. The mutual friends have told me she feels the same way as I do. Actually they are getting annoyed as we bang on about eachother all the time and it does their heads in. :biggrin:

    We've met up one our own half a dozen times and have had an awesome time each time, normally ending with us sitting in a beer garden at 1am in the morning smoking, drinking and having rather intimate chats. When we part we'll text eachother for the next four or five hours until one of us falls asleep. :biggrin:

    There have been two ocassions when she has got rather drunk and told me that she likes me and "if we get together it would be nobodies business but ours".

    I've made a couple of moves but she just brushes them away as if we are having a laugh. I'm a very shy guy so I just go along with it. :shy:

    I just got off the phone to one of the mutual friends who said she has spent the last four hours sitting in a pub doing nothing but talking about me.

  2. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    my best friend and i are in a relationship and we're both depressed, and hear and see things. we were both in an inpatient hospital at the same time too. we're very close and have never been better.
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I think that you two will understand each other where so many other people don't understand our difficulties. That kind of understanding counts for a whole lot. :)
  4. TaraB3ar

    TaraB3ar Well-Known Member

    I would say it can work but be careful. Because you two can understand each other, I hope you'll lift each other in your own times of need. However, I caution against letting your depression (or whatever) fuel off each other and getting even worse. I wish you the best of luck and much happiness!
  5. Disappear

    Disappear Well-Known Member

    From what you wrote you both sound very happy, therefore what does it matter if you share the same problems? You can also help eachother and be happy together. Don't question it, just go with it! good for you :)
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree it sounds as if you two are happy when together.. Don't put your problems ahead of that.. Just enjoy each other and take it slow..It sounds as if you have both already established some kind of trust.. Build on that.. Good Luck!!
  7. unnati

    unnati Member

    just keep trust n go... forget everything else...:brett:
  8. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    i think you 'll have better relation than who dont have same hve something in can help each other in dark days cos you both know & understand the problem & the posible solution...

    good luck :)
  9. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    But the problem comes when you're both having a low or bad day.. you can just make each other a hell of a lot worse sometimes.
  10. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    It might be an idea to talk to her about things. She might be nervous about taking it further which is why she brushes you off. But from the sounds of things it's obvious she likes you.

    I think having a relationship with someone who understands and gets you, can be a good thing. But as with everything it can have it's downsides. You could become co-dependent on one an other and make things worse.

    But I think you'll never know until you give it a try. :)
  11. OverShadow

    OverShadow Guest

    Captain Obvious Ho!

    Essentially, you have two choices - you can either walk away because there is a possibility it won't work with two people who share the same "whatever" :: and then either hold out for a girl who doesn't share your "whatever" or wait until you no longer believe the "whatever" and now share the same "whatever" with a future girl whose "whatever" you don't even know yet.


    You can take the risk that everyone else takes in a relationship in that it may not work out because you two don't work well together. Statistically, I'm sure there's a low difference between relationships that succeed when one DOESN'T share the whatever with their partner and when they DO. There's probably also a low difference in those numbers involving relationships when neither partner has a "whatever."

    Besides man, she obviously digs you - you willing to just walk away on a chance, because of a possibility?

    Go for the win!

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