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Can you hide it?

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#1
Am I just being retarded for not being able to hide my depression at work. Its so bad that my supervisor told me that I looked like I was dying. I just told her I was tired. My friends tell me I'm an unpleasant person (in regards to talking to strangers at work), and other people are asking me, "What's wrong?"

Should I be able to hide it better? How can I pretend like I'm not emotionally and physically drained? My job might depend on it, but I just feel so terrible on the inside that I can't help but show it on the outside.

Is it it normal for it to show this much?
 
#2
speaking only for myself here but learning to hide it was a survival skill i had to develope when i was very young. it's good to an extent but when i have gone to the hospital because i am at the end of my pitiful rope my job probably thinks i am bull shitting, because i don't give the appearance of being depressed. maybe if i shared some of that they would understand more. it really is a matter of letting people in to see at least in my opinion. please take care
 
S
#3
Hiding it is no good, I think.. you have to genuinely start working on ways to lighten your mood on your own. Try to get into the state of mind you're in with a good friend, or the state you're in by yourself just clowning around when no one's watching. I just find that little things can help - like listening to favorite songs alot, and then focus on the songs in my mind again when I need to hear something good. It's actually okay if you're depressed though, you really don't need to hide it at all. As long as you aren't complaining, people shouldn't have a problem with it. I would love to work with employees who are open about their depression, at least they're honest, and it shows good willpower - because it's twice as hard to work when you're in a bad mood than when in a good mood. I find myself gravitating towards those people more, because it feels good to cheer them up (if possible) and being depressed myself, I can relate to them.
 
S
#4
Also, to answer the original question.. I can act happy, but I try not to do it anymore, because it annoys me.. I don't like changing my behavior around people, and I would easily just avoid spending time with relatives if I'm in a bad enough mood rather than fake being happy. That's only if I'm very tired and have no energy though. Obviously, that's not an option for you at work.. Usually I can get myself in a good mood, and generally I feel better after having at least made an attempt, even if I still feel miserable. It's hard for me not to crack a grin just at my own silly behavior sometimes... well I tend to entertain myself and can laugh at my misfortunes. I would say at work - it would help immensely if you have a close friend to work with you, or can develop a close relationship with one or a few of your other employees. If they expect you to be in a good mood every day and are never there for you when you're down, that's not a good work environment imo.
 
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