"Can you last another week?"

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Hybrid Theory, Nov 2, 2012.

  1. Hybrid Theory

    Hybrid Theory Active Member

    That was the question my psych doc had for me today.

    As some of ye guys know I have been extremely suicidal for the past week or 2. I wanted to end it last night, had it all planned out and everything, but a friend convinced me to wait to see what the doc said to me today. So as you could guess, I was NOT impressed with the response I got of "can you wait another week?"!

    I felt like screaming at her, call her every name under the sun and storming out but me, being the shy person I am, just said ya ok. I wanted her to put me in hospital. I feel like a HUGEEEEE danger to myself these days, like that any moment I could snap. Me going to hospital volunterely is not an option, my family would not be one bit impressed with that one, it would have to be the doctor's advice!

    I don't know what to do now. Seeing the doc in a week again if I'm still around then that is :/
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOU need to tell her the truth if you did she would have put you in hospital involunteerly You need to say i am not safe i am 100 percent suicidal and i need help NOW you are not able to wait a day an hour ok tell the truth it is the only way to be admitted
  3. alyssaswoon

    alyssaswoon Well-Known Member

    I can understand your position, I've had one of my psych's say something along the same lines to me. I was very shy and passive so I just went with it and didn't tell him the truth, that I was really suicidal and scared of being alone for fear of what I would do. To make a long story short, I attempted suicide and ended up in the hospital and I got asked the same question by almost everyone, "Why didn't you tell anyone you were feeling this way?". Truthfully, it was because my psych told me to, "Wait and see how I feel until our next appointment" and I didn't speak up and tell him I needed help NOW.
    I know being shy is a hard thing to get over, but next time you see your psych (if you're still feeling suicidal) tell them you don't feel safe with the thoughts of death weighing on your mind, or that you feel you're a danger to yourself. Remember, it's their job to listen to your problems and try to help. It can't hurt you to admit your feelings, but if you stuff them all inside you're going to explode one day, and that's never pretty.
  4. Hybrid Theory

    Hybrid Theory Active Member

    thanks for the replies guys.
  5. Hybrid Theory

    Hybrid Theory Active Member

    Ok today I spoke with my dad about how suicidal I am atm, he is making me take the week off college and go to the doctor tomorrow (a different one then I went to on Friday since all she told me to do was come back again next week -_- ). There is a good possibility that I'll be going into hospital so I won't be on here for a while. I will update this post tomorrow after my app to let ye know how it goes (that is if anyone will read this!).
  6. TheRunaway

    TheRunaway Active Member

    I'm so sorry you've been dealing with all this, and a not-so-helpful doctor to top it all off. I'm glad you talked to your dad about it - sometimes telling the people around us what we're going through can be one of the most difficult tasks. Hope all goes well! :hug:
  7. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    :( I hope you can have a better experience and finally get the help you need. I've tried to tell the therapist on occasions when I was suicidal, and she was supportive and told me to go straight to a hospital. thing is, it's easier said than done. I think it's harder for me because I live in West Virginia even in this more suburban place it's harder...I called 911 because no one was close around to drive me, and i dont have a car or anything. They came and the police man who knows me was helpful and explained I'm not dangerous etc. just struggling, and it was so exhausting by the end of waiting all evening like six hours in the waiting room of the ER, getting my blood drawn, wearing a gown in there, talking, my stomach was so upset I had to call my delusional mom to pick me up who actually did, this time, came there for me which was amazing that despite it she could be there for me, then...even though she's paranoid of hospitals etc. and got mad at me going there.
    The doctor even was about to see me, when I just said I'm fine...because at that point I was so sick of waiting to talk to someone, sick of the loud noise and hearing other people cry out from being hurt physically..I felt my problem was not worth it...

    Maybe it would have helped. I've actually done this maybe four times this past year, tried to get help at the same ER and was either ignored, turned away, or went home after I got so sick and anxious I was scared to be there....

    I wish your experience is better than mine. I have no luck with that, but WV's mental health system is broken.
  8. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Just checking in to see how you are doing...thinking about you
  9. Hybrid Theory

    Hybrid Theory Active Member

    on my last few days in the psych ward now. and I'm coming out feeling like a brand new person! they changed my meds which made a HUGE difference and I'm overall much happier leaving the place then I was going in. I am no longer suicidal or having hallucinations! its only a matter of waiting to be discharged now! :)
  10. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    So glad to hear it!
  11. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Every day is a struggle for me, truth to tell, but I manage, somehow, but I know without a doubt that once of these days, I will lose the will to keep on going and do something something about it.

    Truth to tell tell, each day or every second or third day when I get in that 'sate' I focus on using Google Maps to choose my most favourite place in Australia to end it (normally the mountains or the ocean) in which to pass beyond, but lately, I have i have been fighting back against such thoughts and will do so for as long as I am able, because while I do not live a life that i can really be proud of, I want to enjoy the time I am live now, with the good and the bad.