There are many implications in this question that make it very difficult to answer. In many ways I resent having to be self reliant. I also don't feel good about asking for help.
In a family situation many things happen out of expectation but is that relying? Sometimes yes sometimes no.
I can text or email my therapist whenever I feel like it but I also know that I will only get an answer when I get an answer. I text her because I have an issue that requires an immediate answer. Same happens here on SF. In both cases I feel let down when there is no answer so I would say that is relying on others. It also is a state of not being able to rely on myself.
Yet in my growing up, my father especially used to say how I preferred to be on my own. But I actually resented that though never spoke up.
And sometimes people present themselves as offering something but then they don't follow up. Or I realize that they actually can't. It becomes distressing. That to me means I was relying. I usually find that I wish I was relied on. So what in that case is going on? To me it is a case of relying on others in order to feel needed and to be needed by people who I like. Doesn't mean I'd want to marry them but just be mutually supportive in some way. I've gotten the impression though that this is actually a violation of boundaries. Is this a societal attitude or actually the way it is?
Or does it mean I am just not attractive in any way to those I am attracted to. I rely on others for company and believe I have something worthwhile to to offer those people so it erodes my self worth that they show no interest on a mutual basis.
Sometimes it benefits them to offer help to others to make themselves feel more valuable but then they don't allow it the other way around. Makes relying generally a sad kind of thing.
Ultimately I feel as if I can't rely on myself and can't rely on others. Then there are many cases where relying does happen yet provide less than happy feelings.
Honestly there is so much to consider in this. It's what makes up society. I feel that for myself it's just that I'm not really considered worthwhile. While on the other hand feel that this feeling is simply a barrier I will never be able to understand yet of my own making.
Better yet, not of my own making but the state of being what I am - someone defective or just not having been offered the right training while an infant and child in need of societal training.
So they reliance in whichever way is just dysfunction. Yikes. This is torture to answer and torture to leave unanswered.
In a family situation many things happen out of expectation but is that relying? Sometimes yes sometimes no.
I can text or email my therapist whenever I feel like it but I also know that I will only get an answer when I get an answer. I text her because I have an issue that requires an immediate answer. Same happens here on SF. In both cases I feel let down when there is no answer so I would say that is relying on others. It also is a state of not being able to rely on myself.
Yet in my growing up, my father especially used to say how I preferred to be on my own. But I actually resented that though never spoke up.
And sometimes people present themselves as offering something but then they don't follow up. Or I realize that they actually can't. It becomes distressing. That to me means I was relying. I usually find that I wish I was relied on. So what in that case is going on? To me it is a case of relying on others in order to feel needed and to be needed by people who I like. Doesn't mean I'd want to marry them but just be mutually supportive in some way. I've gotten the impression though that this is actually a violation of boundaries. Is this a societal attitude or actually the way it is?
Or does it mean I am just not attractive in any way to those I am attracted to. I rely on others for company and believe I have something worthwhile to to offer those people so it erodes my self worth that they show no interest on a mutual basis.
Sometimes it benefits them to offer help to others to make themselves feel more valuable but then they don't allow it the other way around. Makes relying generally a sad kind of thing.
Ultimately I feel as if I can't rely on myself and can't rely on others. Then there are many cases where relying does happen yet provide less than happy feelings.
Honestly there is so much to consider in this. It's what makes up society. I feel that for myself it's just that I'm not really considered worthwhile. While on the other hand feel that this feeling is simply a barrier I will never be able to understand yet of my own making.
Better yet, not of my own making but the state of being what I am - someone defective or just not having been offered the right training while an infant and child in need of societal training.
So they reliance in whichever way is just dysfunction. Yikes. This is torture to answer and torture to leave unanswered.
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