I'm starting to lose control again and feel like an idiot. I want to kill myself, but being rational, I think that's just my f-cked up mind because things are good in my life. But right now it's all that's on my mind - and when I felt the same last year I ended up downing 70 pills.. regretted it later, but at the time it felt right. It feels right now. I have an overwhelming urge and I don't know why. I need to do something. I can't go on like this, if I don't do it it's just going to be put off and I'll end up doing it somewhere down the line. But right now I have a plan that I want to do tomorrow. I don't have what I need to do it tonight, plus my sister's home and I don't want to do it with her here. I don't want her to be the one to find me. I think a few days in a psych ward would be good - THAT is the only other option I'm willing to try. I have a doctor who I see weekly/fortnightly and talk about stuff with, but that's not enough. I need to be away, to clear my head and find out what's going on in it. I can't be here like this any more. But I'm worried I'll look like I just want some attention if I go there and say I plan on killing myself, please admit me.. because if I planned on killing myself, I wouldn't be admitting myself voluntarily. But I know that I'm going to lose control soon and I will end up doing it. I need to be taken away for a while to figure out what's going on with me, and to stop myself doing it. Please help.