Cannabis Psychosis Please Read.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Angelo_91, Oct 21, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    I know this is really random but please respond.

    Has anyone else experienced psychosis when smoking weed. Has smoking marijuana made you more aloof and distant? Has it brought such 'out of the world' perceptions that have ripped your beliefs apart? Have you lost your identity while smoking weed before?

    I'd like to share my story for those who are willing to read. I have always been an awkward guy, and I always try not to be... but it is just who I am. I feel disgraced to say I still and have always had poor self esteem. Beyond pathetic social skills, almost like symptoms of someone with aspergers syndrome. I sometimes have trouble knowing where to begin, how to express myself in certain situations, how to react to certain situations, how my face should look like when someone is talking to me for example. And I know there are tons of pot smokers in this western society and I have nothing against your beliefs, but I am just wondering.

    From this website, it states:

    Emotional Effects of Marijuana

    Many regular marijuana users seem to lose their motivation to achieve in school, work, sports, or creative endeavors. Even if they are talented and were doing well in these areas, they may stop trying. At the same time, the money they may have spent on their productive pursuits becomes diverted to drug dealers.

    Those who use marijuana as an escape may fail to develop normal social skills and remain childlike in their ability to deal with other people, handle stress, or form their own opinions. Some people become obnoxious and a few may even become violent while high. Others become overwhelmed by heightened input from their senses, and may seem to "shut down."

    Taking a high dose of the drug may even lead to cannabis psychosis, which can include hallucinations, paranoia, and a loss of identity.


    That description is exactly how I feel at the moment. I feel total regret of ever smoking weed in my young teenage years and feel terrified a little right now. I feel sort of a failure to society. I shunned myself in high school. It was all me. I could've chosen a better path, but I was afraid, and misguided. I feel like I finally see what people have been seeing in me as 'the aloof, anti-social one, weird guy.' But to be honest it's okay Im better off believing Ill be okay.

    I still feel like a child, and I am turning 18 in december. I am currently 17. I just feel sad because looking at the past, I was such a loser. Such a sad story to think about. Ive quit weed, but found myself smoking it like a week ago with friends.

    When I smoked it I had all these perceptions, all these thoughts, that opened my eyes all so quickly. I get these strange philosophies while my other friends just get 'high'. I really believe that if you are suffering from a mental illness then you should not smoke weed. Many people that say they just get high and thats it and don't get the 'Cannabis Psychosis' effect is because they have stable mindsets. They are not afraid and their beliefs are able to withstand the power of weed. However people like me that lack the stable mindset and dont have a strong sense of identity to begin with and also have cases of anxiety, depression and other conditions are taken control over by the thoughts that come with smoking weed.

    From experience, I was overwhelmed by it. I felt like I lost myself and that I was throwing in the towel. All I could do at that moment was smile and wait for it to go away. I was watching the movie District 9 while I was high with my friends. It was a really eye-opening movie especially for a guy like me while I am high. I watched as the humans took advantage over those aliens. This world is survival of the fittest. I saw that humans were just like every other creature on this planet. They turn to shitty fierce creatures when things are getting bad, or when they are threatened. I know these thoughts seem so 'wow' but it just isn't healthy. If you are an anxious and worried person, those thoughts are heightened when high, and you feel the weight of everything compared to a person who can rub things off.

    I want to believe I am a stronger person so I will believe. I will feel it. Do I seem like a psychotic person to you? Oh such stupid questions coming out of my mouth. Ive never felt more sorry in my damned sad life so far. Im alive though right? I really hope people can learn from this random compulsive rant. I also just wanted to know if anyone else here has felt like this, considering this is a depressed forum.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 21, 2009
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    It is awesome that a person your age can take a look at something that affects their life and make a decision that is best for them.

    That is an adult skill that will serve you forever. Good job! :)
     
  3. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your post, and I am happy to tell you that you don't, and never have suffered from Cannabis-induced psychosis. I have, and it is not a pleasant experince. For your benefit and better understanding, I will post my psychosis story.

    I've smoked weed for the better part of 8 years, since i was about 13. As in your post, I quickly became demotivated and lazy towards my schoolwork, and my grades went progressively downhill for the rest of high school. I was an A student in 8th Grade, and an F student in 12th. Keep in mind that during my schooling, my marijuana use was only about once a week, so it doesn't matter how much or little you smoke, you can still have negative effects. I have met people that have one cone and seemingly go crazy, and this is not psychosis either, it is just their reaction to the drug. However some people can slip into psychosis from their first try, you never know. Psychosis occurs when you produce too much dopamine in the brain, and marijuana is one of the many things that releases dopamine. Psychosis lasts long after the 'stoned' effects of marijuana wear off, and takes a while to fully go away. My psychosis lasted 2 weeks, and fluctuated from very strong to non-existent and back again.

    Now I'll get to my psychosis. As I said, I have smoked weed for 8 years, and after this time I have seen my education, some friendships, and many different jobs go down the drain. After I left school I began smoking heavily, most days of the week and many times during the day. I often felt, and still do, that without a few cones I couldn't relax and be happy. Like i have done before, I decided to quit, figuring that the bad greatly outweighed the good. I went through a week of solid and heavy depression, not wanting to leave my flat for anything, literally laying in bed all day, every day, wishing I had pot.

    Australia Day came along, and my dad was organising a family get together at the beach to celebrate. I thought that I would hate it, especially in the state I was in, but went along anyway. I ended u having fun talking to my sister that I hadn't seen in ages and playing with my nieces. However I was on edge all day, and for the most part couldn't sit or stand still. I stayed in the sun all day and got heavily burnt. After the day was done, I cane home and visited a neighbour, who happened to be smoking pot at the time. He offered me some cones, which he owed to me, and despite my efforts to quit I accepted, just to relieve myself from the cravings. This guy was a heavy drug user, who would take speed and cocaine and whatever drugs he could get his hands on, so it's not crazy to think that this pot that he had was laced with something else.

    I felt great for finally having a cone or two inside me, and retired back to my flat for some net surfing. I stayed up all through the night and into the morning, even going for a run at 4 am down to the servo (gas station) for some cigarettes, which is not in my character to do. I ended up sleeping for a few hour during the day. I continued to stay up all night for a week, and by the end I was in a psyche ward.

    I developed a few crazy beliefs during my psychosis, which to me made perfect sense. I thought that it was all finally adding up, and that I had solved the mysteries of life, which is common among psychosis sufferers. These were my dellusional beliefs.

    1. I had a newfound belief in the bible, and believed that Right handers were descendants of Cain and left handers of Abel. Furthermore, considering the fact that right handers use the left half of the brain and left handers use the whole brain, I believed that only Left handers were capable of free thought and creation, and Right handers could only retain and relay information given to them. I also believed that left handers were creators and right handers were warriors, myself being left handed. It is important to note that some of the most successful and life-changing people in history were left handed. Einstein, Da Vinci and Alexander the great to name a few. I still believe that Left-handers are gifted individuals, and will probably go on to achieve something great in life. This is NOT a psychotic belief.

    2. This is a complicated one. I believed that, considering the theory that life occurs in ages/eras, we were entering a new era of life and that I was the spark. I thought that we had reached the end of the seventh age, and were entering a new age, which is due to occur somewhere between 1900 and 2160. When this happens, we will abandon Christianity and find a new religion or belief system to believe in (this is not my singular belief, this is a fact.), and technology will greatly improve, as well as knowledge, peace etc. For more on this, watch part 1 of the documentary Zeitgeist (but beware if you are a christian). I believed that there was 10 ages: Purity, Contrast, Magic, Soidity, Wonder, Legend, Luck (our present age), Infinity, Infulence and Completion. These are the meanings that tarot gives to numbers, I believe. Regardless, this is not the same as the 12 aeons/eras of the zodiac, of which many people are talking about at the moment, seeing as it is a completely life-changing event for all mankind.

    I believed that the age of Luck began with Jesus, and ended/the next era began with John Lennon, who sang about peace and love and created the beautiful song 'Imagine' which speaks of abonding religion and having world peace. I believed that during the seventh age(luck, feauring war, famine and disease), weapons were the prime tool used, starting with a sword and ending with a bullet, and the holy cross was the symbol of the age, representing the most dominant religion. For the eighth age(infinity, featuring peace, knowledge and never-ending life) the tool would be music, and the symbol a guitar, which is not only shaped like an 8 but is the prime instrument in most music today. To make matters more rediculous, I believed that the spirit of John Lennon inhabitated a cat that my family owned as a child in England, which was passed on to me when it died. My reason for this was that I lived in a street called champman close, and lennon was killed by mark chapman. Dubious, I know.

    I had a girlfriend, who lives next door to me, and when we were together we thought it was meant to be, and we were meant for each other. We appreciated how she was born in 77 (double luck) and I was born in 88 (double infinity) and that we had a special connection unlike any other. While we were together, she thougt she had become pregnant, but after seeing a doctor we learnt that she hadn't, which was depressing to say the least. Back to my psychosis, I believed that I was some sort of Jesus, she was a female equivelant and by us coming together we had started the new age. I went to sleep seeing doom and gloom in the faces of the people on tv, and when I woke up I saw that everyone on tv was smiling and beautiful. I truly thought that I had saved the life of every person on this planet, and ushered in a new era of peace, happiness and prosperity. I broke down in tears of joy and cryed the hardest I ever have, and it was quite an amazing experience. I expected people to come from far and wide to come and see me, as they did jesus, but the only people that did were my parents, along with mental health workers.

    3. I believed that the souls of the twelve disciples resided in the souls of 12 celebrities with the same first name, who were seemingly at the top of their fields. For example I thought that Jim Carrey was one of the james's, jim being considered by many the funniest actor there is/was. I thought that Anne Rice was a prophet, and that her vampire stories was an example of the coming era free of death, and 2 of her characters were based on me and my ex. At one point I believed that Penn Jilette, of Penn And Teller was god. At another point I believed that Vince McMahon (Owner of WWE) was god.

    4. I believed that Thought created Reality. For example, I believed that no matter how hard they try they will not find the smallest particle, nor the biggest star, because just the thought of something bigger/smaller has created it.

    It is important to remember that through all of this I believed that I was right, and nobody else could see it. This was my reality, and if someone told me I was wrong I knew in my heart that I wasn't. This is what Psychosis does, it creates a different reality in your mind where you are right and everyone else is wrong. Despite this, I followed my father's advice and went into hospital, where my beliefs quickly went away and I felt normal again. I stayed there for nearly 2 weeks, was given medication (that I am still on, 8 months later) and was discharged when they ran out of beds.

    Despite this horrible time in my life, I got one thing out of it that I still believe is true. I believe that the universe, while diverse and full of billions of different lifeforms, is just a singularity, that every single thing inside it must work with each other as 1, or else there is disorder. At it's most basic we are all just atoms, and when we die those atoms do not die, but are redistributed so that new life can exist. Despite being a singularity, life is made of 2s, like 2 sides of the same coin. We have good and we have evil, but neither are seperate from each other. Hitler loved his people but killed millions, Jesus taught love and brotherhood but advocated killing those who didn't believe in God (Note: I don't believe in Jesus, I use him as an extreme). In order for life to exist there has to be a balance of both opposites, which is why humans are capable of great good and great evil. Each one of us has the potential to be the next Hitler, or Martin Luther King or whatever you want. As long as one opposite is fighting the other, and not striving for some sort of balance, there will never be peace.
     
  4. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Lol those are really out of the world perceptions. Thanks for sharing. Just wondering how old are you now? and how is your life going right now? I know what you mean about not feeling real or normal without smoking. Im glad that is all behind me though, I was literally a slave to it, wanting to lose myself to it, having it be the only thing on my mind. Also, what happened to you and your girlfriend. I think thats pretty amazing to be able to share such experiences with a girl.
     
  5. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    Yes I was lucky, and am even luckier that we are still friends, despite my actions. This happened in February this year, and I'm still trying to get a job and live a normal life. I'm 21 btw. I'm still a slave to cannabis, which is bad, but I can't help it, it fills a hole that I've never been able to fill. You can see by what I said that psychosis is a serious thing, and highly damaging. As I said before, while under the psychosis, this made sense to me like water is wet, thats how fucked in the head you can become. It is important to note that this sort of thing happens to the minority of pot smokers, but the likelihood increases the longer you smoke it and the heavier you do (every day, for example). Never smoke weed before you are 17 or 18, it will most likely fuck your life up and it can prevent the brain from developing from adolescence to adulthood.
     
  6. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Yea thats true in your last statement. I feel pretty fucked up, but I am being strong by building my life together. I first started when I was between 15-16... funny how I can't even remember exactly when. Thanks anyways.
     
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I started smoking when I was twelve.. Yes it screwed up my life.. I never finished school.. My friends and I would skip all the time and buy a case of beer and roll some joints and just go cruising in the country getting ripped..I didn't stop smoking until I was in my thirties,..I came to the conclusion that I was to old to be going to jail..The only problem I had with smoking other than being lazy was paranoia.. I was always afraid of getting caught..My parents use to search my room everyday when I was gone.. They never thought to search me where my pot was always at..
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.