Cannot cope with this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Gem_Healer, Oct 14, 2007.

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  1. Gem_Healer

    Gem_Healer Guest

    hey. I'm new.

    Anyway, joined the site (i believe u used to be a member.. but i forget now)

    Anyway, joined this site, due to my suicidal feelings.

    i have attempted suicide a lot of times. But each time, i survived. Obviously.

    Anyway. I'm planning on trying again tonight. But I don't really know if i want death, or for my pain to go away.

    I am on AD's, and in counselling.

    Only just started my ad's 13 days ago-ish.

    I have had alot of abuse in my past. And that is the main reason for my depression. I guess.
    But I think its due to being worthless, and knowing it.

    Anyway, please reply.

  2. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    welcome :hug:
    please dont try anything tonight!
  3. Gem_Healer

    Gem_Healer Guest

    I dont want to carry on living tho. I have got nothing. And I am nothing.

    I cant cope with all this.

    i really cant :(
  4. Gem_Healer

    Gem_Healer Guest


    Why can't i just end my pathetic worthless life?


    *begins to cut again*
  5. bluefugue

    bluefugue Member

    What you probably want is for the pain to go away, not to actually die. You just don't see another way to end that pain.

    Please try to hang in there. You're getting counseling, which is important. You say you're worthless, but you're not. I understand the feeling... I feel that way sometimes myself... but I also know, when I am honest with myself, that it's not true.

    Sometimes it just takes small short-term goals to keep you going past the times when the pain becomes too much to bear. One game I play with myself is to make a list of things I would still like to do in my life. It can be as simple as "I haven't read this book yet" or as crazy as "I would like to live long enough to see people walk on Mars."

    It's not easy... it's never easy. I know you're in pain; I'm in pain as I write this. Tonight has been one of the toughest nights in a long time for me. Try to find that spark within yourself to keep going. If the big picture is too much to handle, stop looking at it for a while! Focus in on something smaller that you can get a grasp on. It can be anything.
  6. Chickpea

    Chickpea Well-Known Member

    Hiya :hug:

    I can't answer this for sure, but I think that most people considering suicide want an end to the pain rather than death itself. I'm sure that if you were happier then you would want to be alive. And you can achieve that.

    How is that going for you? Are you finding it is helping at all? With antidepressants, I have read that they take at least one month to start working. I know it is tough to feel this bad, but it is surely worth at least giving the medication some more time to do its job. Also counselling can be a really long process - but a good one. It is great that you are seeking out this help. If you start to get REALLY bad then consider calling your counsellor if you can and asking for an emergency session. I think most therapists will try to provide that if they possibly can :hug:
  7. Gem_Healer

    Gem_Healer Guest

    Your right both of you. I want the pain to end rather than my life.
    I am slightly happier now :) well much, i got a boyfriend now lol.

    Lifes tough. And i hate it. but i'm gonna keep trying. Else ill never know.
    I wish the pain would just end, rather than having to go through all the pain of counselling. re living all the bad stuff.
    But if it's gotta be done, then its gotta be done. no 2 ways about it.

    Counselling and AD's are working for me. Well, not working, and working if you know what i mean. I hate that im having to go through all the pain and trauma again, just to heal. But meh. So long as ill be ok in the long run, thats all that matters.
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