As much as I appreciate everyone here...you are all kind and caring people, I cannot seem to find anyone like me. Someone who just cannot forgive themselves....someone who was once a successful, respected employee, someone for whom trauma destroyed at the age of 59, who now wants to end it all but because of their fear of going to hell and the destruction it would cause their family stays. Someone who has ‘everything’ money, the ability to travel, the most loving husband and children, etc....yet longingly looks forward to going to bed the minute they wake up. I was never like this...I have sought professional help,.,..and have not received the best. I have ocd, ptsd, anxiety, depression. If someone had told me 5 years ago that this would be my life, I would have told them they were crazy.
My life is now a living nightmare....
last rant of the night I promise. hugs to all.
My life is now a living nightmare....
last rant of the night I promise. hugs to all.