Cannot Handle

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by faleana, Jan 2, 2012.

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  1. faleana

    faleana Member

    I've been feeling really low. & i'm scared. when i get to this point, there's no telling what i'd do. i can't control myself at this point. i'm scared to tell anyone, because last time i was here, i tried overdosing. they said if i do it again, they'll put me away in a mental hospital. i think that'll just worsen things when i get out.

    i have these thoughts. these brutal, scary thoughts. but not just thoughts, i'm hoping that i'll die. i hope that i suffer long & hard while i'm dying. i hope i get to see my blood come out of every pore. i hope all the pain & suffering inside of me, turns into physical pain while i'm dying. i wish i could. i want to so bad, i've never wanted anything more other than death. my boyfriend is the last string i have on this earth, & i can feel it coming to an end as it is. which means, there i go. i can't tell him. i don't want to sound like that psycho girlfriend who threatens to kill herself if he leaves. cos i won't. i don't want anyone to know that i'm going to kill myself. i just want to disappear & no one to find out the pain i'll put myself through. i've thought long & hard about different ways, & they all seem so beautiful. just knowing that i'll no longer be suffering, it's beautiful. i'm scared. i need help. i need to find happiness. but it's too late, this time.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Never too late to get help h un never too late please call for help or go to hosptial until you feel stronger hun until you get your mind more stable hugs
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi faleana,

    It saddens me that you are going through these woes....Maybe you can try going to the psych hospital to see how you feel about it...feel things out a bit...Right now you are on the brink, and you only need to be in the hospital until you are feeling safe again....You are not beyond help, and I wish you the best. :hug:

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