I've always felt kind of strange for posting here because there are individuals who really do have so many more issues that in many cases isn't even in their control and are in much worse situations emotionally. I have had millions of suicidal thoughts since I was nine. I didn't really realize I was depressed until I was 15 though. I'm in college now and I've been feeling better because I like it significantly better than highschool but those cynical thoughts resurface sometimes. I will think things should be so much better and how I want so much more. I don't know why I can't be happy with my life. A lot of things have gone my way and looking at me from the outside you'd think things are great. I grew up the youngest and very spoiled in a good family. I got into the college I wanted, I'm pledging a fraternity, I even managed to bring a lady back home last weekend. Still though, every day is the same it seems like and the days go by quickly and I get bored and unsatisfied and I feel constantly busy. I thought that's what would make me happier in the summer because things went by slowly and were boring but things are faster now and it's still boring and unsatisfying. At the point I really don't think anything will make me happy because nothing really ever has.