Just woken up, it's half 9 at night. empty bottle of vodka next to me, first time I've had a drink since new years eve. My wrist is stinging so bad and my thighs too. I haven't cut in a year. I had a bad night last night. I remember the last time I did it, I woke up late for counselling and was nervous anyway because that session I had to draw pictures of how I felt! How gay. And I listen to my ipod walking there but I lost it, my brother bought me it for christmas and it was the best present I've ever gotten. I felt so stupid losing it and ended up cutting my wrists, aswell as missing counselling and then she sent me a letter saying she assumed I didn't need her anymore. And now I'm in the same position, why can't things get better. I have work on the weekend and we aren't allowed to wear long sleeves cos of infection control. What am I gonna do? I cnt lose my job i'm such an idiot sometimes!!!!!!!!