Can't continue to live like this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kittylover, Jan 27, 2013.

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  1. kittylover

    kittylover Well-Known Member

    I'm male but want to be female. I've been on hormones for 5 years, but still completely look male. I'm in a great deal of pain from this - every time I see a moderately pretty woman, I die a little bit inside, and cry the next time I'm alone.

    I'd rather be dead than male, but apparently I will always be male, so I just want to die. I don't seem to have the courage or selfishness to kill myself, so I'm simply stuck and in a lot of pain.
  2. Slange

    Slange Member


    Do not despair, there is a lot of help out there for you. It doesn't sound like you have the right doctor. Are the hormones prep for a sex change surgery? There are a lot of great docs for this and I think even whole centers. You need to find the right doc and start moving forward on a sex change operation so you can move forward with your life. If you don't have insurance there are ways to pay for it. Don't let the cost be an obstacle.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are in so much pain hun there are others here that understand and perhaps could help you with the process of chnging over I hope you get the support you need hun hugs
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Kitty, I agree with Slange. Find another doctor/ specialist centre. Re size; I'm 5ft8 never thought of myself as tall because I have two cousins who are over 6ft. From photos it looks like my grandmother was also taller than me. One of those cousins is like that gran - big boned and broad shouldered. There are so many different shapes of women. The transgender people who stand out to women are the ones that have an unrealistic stereotype of feminity in their head. Be real, be different, be a "this is the shape I came in" woman.
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