cant cope any more(triggers)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by aaron_corsa, Oct 16, 2013.

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  1. aaron_corsa

    aaron_corsa Member

    Well its been a while since I was here in the time I've been gone my life has been full of ups and downs but now its all downs how I put this I don't know so I'll just type in April this year I found out my mum comited suicide while she was in hospital for self harm she hung her self in October 2009 I only found out when I decided it was time to patch things up with my family I searched for my mum on face book upon the search I found a page that was in loving memory of my mum I couldn't believe it so I messaged the page asking for details 2weeks later iI got a response. From my brother who informed me how she died and he told me that my dad told social services to inform me of my mums death well as u can tell they didn't so I started making calls to find out why not and to try to find out where my mum. Is laid to rest well all I kept getting was data protection so I went to the local paper for help and yes I got a sorry from the local council and I got a call from social services they give me a phone number to find out where my mum was laid to rest so I called the number and it was the funeral directors of my mums funeral and guess what yet again they said they can't tell me any thing due to data protection so I offered to send them all my identification documents they said we still won't tell u any thing so now I've give up trying and I'm starting to give up on my life I forgot to say I have BPD and I'm on 300 mg quitiepine a day I have seen my care worker today and explained to him how I'm feeling he just keeps telling me to relax that's kind of hard seeing as last time I slept was 9pm to 11 pm on Sunday my only way to talk to my ,um now and be with her is to end my life I have lots of cuts all over my arms and in the last 2 weeks have had a total of 36 Stitch's my care worker also spoke to his ,manager about the way I am she told him its down up to me what I do and not to intervene so is that them giving me the all clear to end my life?
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm so sorry for how you lost your mum, and even more for the fact they won't give you any information. I don't know your background so have no idea why they're keeping any information from you, and I can't imagine how difficult and painful that must be.

    Do you have anyone close to you that you can contact, just to read out for some help and support?
  3. aaron_corsa

    aaron_corsa Member

    I live with my wife but she finds it hard when I'm like this and has no idea what to say or do she won't let me go any where on my own she says if I leave with out her she will call police for my own safety I know she cares but calling police will not help I really cant go back on a section
  4. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Having read this and the more recent thread too.. and replied there to that, I'm now going to reply to this.

    You say you were seeking to patch things up with your family - could it possibly be a fall out that drove your mum to end up the way she was? If things were rocky, care to explain why they were rocky?

    Now you say you can't cope because you cannot find where your mum was laid to rest - yet you haven't stated here whether or not you've considered asking the brother of yours who did turn around and say to you that your mum had passed away, if he knew - so you could at least say a final goodbye, and not have it go through social services etc.

    And is there any more to the story (was there anything you might have done yourself that caused the rift and wedge between yourself and your family) that you are keeping quiet about?
  5. aaron_corsa

    aaron_corsa Member

    ok well then thing is from as yuong as i can remember untill the age of 14 my mum sexual abused me and in 2008 i finalyy got the balls to tell some one yes there was police involvement my brother i have tried contacting loads of times to find out every thing i have tried to contact all my family but none of them want to know
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