Cant cope any more.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by mixedemotions, Jun 20, 2009.

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  1. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    Soo... this week has been the worst in a while, to the point where I literally had a break down at college, self harmed in the toilets, walked out my lesson, leaving all my work behide and didnt go back.

    Later to find out that I could be at risk of getting a 'warning for disrepected staff members."

    This is all i fuckin need. I'm so down right now and tbh i dont know what is making me so bad. I'm self harming again, but not in the obvious way. I'm trying not to cut again... I know that if I start I wont stop until it is too late and I dont want him to see me like that.

    i'm so stressed and how so much college work to do. I know I will never be able to finish it all... and if I dont I will fail this year. I cant do that... it means 3years at college and still nothing will have come out of it. I have Striaght Distinctions in 4 of my units, but just cant seem to get my head around the rest of my work. I cant concentrate long enough to get any work finished. I have got like 5 assignments to complete, and awhole other unit with 13 peices of work to do.. all before next friday!
    It is impossible. I cant get any extensions and the college dont seem to want to help.. my tutors know i have depression but it is not seen as an excuse to why i cant do the work now, when i have been able to in the past. I dont know what is effecting me so bad.... things aint perfect at home. college is really bad, my anti-depressants still dont seem to be working and i even upped the dosage. I am having flash back again of my abuse and it is messing up my life, im paranoid all the time.

    Really beginning to wonder if I could have Bipolar... my mood can be absoluetly brilliant for weeks and then I'm like this. I just wanna end it all. I want every thing to be ok. I was waiting at the bus stop the other day... (friday) and just wanted to jump infront of the bus.
     
  2. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    Really don't wanna carry on if i'm gonna feel like this all the time.
    I'm finding that sleep helps... well not really but i'd rather be asleep than have to put up with the thoughts in my head.

    Grrr. sooo pissed off
     
  3. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Maybe you need a different med, or maybe therapy would help.
     
  4. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    I've been in therapy for almost two years now. It helps for the big things. But it is the little things that build up inside and I cant cope with them. So much always happens between my sessions and I feel I don't have time to talk about them all.

    So pissed off at my self. I've been sleeping to get away from the trouble... but then having to wake up with a pile of work to do is not helping at all. I'm never gonna get it done if I try sleep it away.

    Gonna have to stay up all night to try get it done. GRR

    What the hell is wrong with me.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    can you get your doctor to right college a note stating what is going on emotionally with you Your doctor can write a note to ask for extentions on your projects. College is so stressful on top of everything i would think your professors would understand if a note came from your doctor. Just a thought take care.
     
  6. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    i never thought about that.... I'm sure he would if I asked him. He has done it in the past for me.

    I'm gonna ask him. thanks for the idea. It may help a little knowin i have a bit more time.
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    good luck Ihope you get the time you need Mary
     
  8. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    Hey, feeling so low that I've came onto the site at college...
    yeah this is gonna be fun. it will be on my history logs and i cant get rid of them. but so fuck. i need the support.
    Stressing out trying to my assignments..... NEVER gonna happen!

    MEH feel shit! I cant get any earlier appointments to see my pysc so I cant talk to him about college and stuff. I'm not going to be able to get extensions and i finish college on friday... have my work isnt completed and i dont have the time, motivation and will power to do them. GRR soo pissed off at my self.

    My urges are really strong today, really wanna cut, it will help with the stress. GRR. Meh I'm such a fuckin loser.
     
  9. Perhaps you can apply for some sort of medical exception, or even a brief medical leave of absence. I know it is hard — it can be embarrassing, it seems weak — to go through the paperwork for this, but there try to force yourself to remember that there is nothing wrong with or shameful about it.
     
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