Soo... this week has been the worst in a while, to the point where I literally had a break down at college, self harmed in the toilets, walked out my lesson, leaving all my work behide and didnt go back. Later to find out that I could be at risk of getting a 'warning for disrepected staff members." This is all i fuckin need. I'm so down right now and tbh i dont know what is making me so bad. I'm self harming again, but not in the obvious way. I'm trying not to cut again... I know that if I start I wont stop until it is too late and I dont want him to see me like that. i'm so stressed and how so much college work to do. I know I will never be able to finish it all... and if I dont I will fail this year. I cant do that... it means 3years at college and still nothing will have come out of it. I have Striaght Distinctions in 4 of my units, but just cant seem to get my head around the rest of my work. I cant concentrate long enough to get any work finished. I have got like 5 assignments to complete, and awhole other unit with 13 peices of work to do.. all before next friday! It is impossible. I cant get any extensions and the college dont seem to want to help.. my tutors know i have depression but it is not seen as an excuse to why i cant do the work now, when i have been able to in the past. I dont know what is effecting me so bad.... things aint perfect at home. college is really bad, my anti-depressants still dont seem to be working and i even upped the dosage. I am having flash back again of my abuse and it is messing up my life, im paranoid all the time. Really beginning to wonder if I could have Bipolar... my mood can be absoluetly brilliant for weeks and then I'm like this. I just wanna end it all. I want every thing to be ok. I was waiting at the bus stop the other day... (friday) and just wanted to jump infront of the bus.