can't cope anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Heavenly Star, Dec 20, 2007.

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  1. Heavenly Star

    Heavenly Star Well-Known Member

    This is the first time i've ever had the chance to tell people how I feel so i'm sorry if i ramble on too much. I've never been happy with my life but somehow I just managed to carry on but now I just don't want to live anymore. I'm 25 years old and haven't achieved anything. I don't have any friends and my family don't care. I lost my job and now I can't work because of a health problem which even the doctors don't care about. I've got no one to talk to and no one will help me. I just want to die and be free from all this pan.
  2. Up&down

    Up&down Well-Known Member

    Really sorry you feel this way
    Honestly you are among friends who care and will post stuff that have got them through to the other end of these fellings.
    There is a great future for you I promise,
    Life sometimes seems to forget about us, family, doctors seem not to care.
    What we need to do is get out all that is bothering us, move forward and don't look back.
    Don't know what your health probs are? if you are disabled in anyway there are people employed by Job centre plus to find you work.
    I once thought I was just a burden on my family, today I'm the back bone of it.
    Please keep posting and feel welcome to PM me if you want a chat on MSM or Aim.
    More important of all STAY SAFE.
  3. Rand

    Rand Active Member

    Heavenly Star

    Even though i too have posted my own thread sharing my demise, i can at least share some knowledge.

    The people areound you do make differences, maybe only small ones but still differences.

    OK for me it wasnt enough but you're a different person.

    I went to a samba drumming course which was set for 12 weeks. Met great ppl, and well i kept going for those 12 weeks. Not happy but at least content. Through that i discovered a bunch of other activities.

    What i'm saying is, at least have a look at whats local and try something like that. For me, i got an extra 12 weeks. No regrets at all. Glad it happened.

    Ppl here might shoot me down for saying this, but my thoughts were "why the hell not? there's nothing to lose". So i did it, and got a hell of a lot more out of it than i thought.

    Another thought, you haven't "rambled" on enough. Explain some more. The more said the more chance someone will relate.
  4. Heavenly Star

    Heavenly Star Well-Known Member


    first of all thanks for taking the time to reply.

    regarding your idea of finding a local activity, I find it hard to get to know people. I have no self confidence and find it really hard to talk to people.

    The only thing i enjoyed doing was horse riding. Horses were the only thing that kept me going but thanks to the stupid doctors I can't even do that anymore and i can't even begin to describe how much that hurts me.

    I had a problem with my left hand in august which has got worse over time and now I can't move any of my fingers or use my hand at all and i'm in pain all the time but the doctors just don't care. but why should they? it's not their problem. so now i can't do the one thing i got a little bit of happiness from. It's not just that though. I've been unhappy for so long. I feel like life has passed me by and it's too late to change it. All I wanted was some help and i've been let down every time.

    none of that matters any more though because I'm not planning on being alive for much longer. I try and see a future for myself but all I can see is nothing.
  5. Urd

    Urd Member

    Now, your twenty right? This is the time in your life when your starting to find purpose and meaning, don't worry about it because when you least expect something right comes your way and boy does it feel good. You can be strong enough to do anything you desire you just need your motivation, the questions need to ask are simple, what do you want and how much are you willing to do to get it? Everyone always has a purpose, they usually affect the people around, even if it seems like in a small way there is always some form of affect.
  6. Heavenly Star

    Heavenly Star Well-Known Member


    I wish i was 20. I'm 25. If i was meant to have a purpose or meaning shouldn't i have found it by now?

    i'm just a waste of a life. There is no hope for me anymore.
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