on January 12th it will be 3 years since I was raped and I can't cope with the flashbacks and nightmares about it. I know i should talk to someone about it but i can't. I'm so scared. I've just bottled everything inside and hoped it would go away. But it's just as real as ever. Why did they have to do that to me? They've ruined my life. I feel so disgusting and dirty. Last year on the 12th Jan i took my first overdose and I know that is what i will do again this year. I've got it all planned out. If that doesn't work then I will jump from a motorway bridge. It's the only way out.