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Can't cope with the past.... need help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Heavenly Star, Jan 1, 2009.

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  1. Heavenly Star

    Heavenly Star Well-Known Member

    on January 12th it will be 3 years since I was raped and I can't cope with the flashbacks and nightmares about it. I know i should talk to someone about it but i can't. I'm so scared. I've just bottled everything inside and hoped it would go away. But it's just as real as ever. Why did they have to do that to me? They've ruined my life. I feel so disgusting and dirty. Last year on the 12th Jan i took my first overdose and I know that is what i will do again this year. I've got it all planned out. If that doesn't work then I will jump from a motorway bridge. It's the only way out.
  2. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    you really need to find someone to talk to hun, keeping this bottled up will only serve to make your life worse.
    seek out a councellor or maybe speak to someone here who can help

    take care
  3. Nicki

    Nicki Active Member

    I'm really sorry to hear that you are finding things very hard at the moment....I know what the flashbacks are like i have them almost everyday with the abuse that i had with my Dad...They make it feel so like you are going through the pain again....Have you been to a Doctor about this? I dont have any family to support me,,,

    You must never go through all this alone,,where are you from?? You can pm me anytime i WANT to help you get better,,If that someone to talk too....That has been through a similar thing...

    You take care and live life the best you can and DONT let anyone upset you,

    Pms anytime.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Heavenly_star,

    I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I can relate to how you are feeling,I have been through it. I know from experience that bottling things up will only cause you to feel depressed and isolated. A problem shared is a problem halved.You shouldn't feel disgusting or dirty.The person that did this to you is disgusting and dirty.

    Please,please tell someone about what happened. Do not suffer in silence.There is plenty of help and resources available for rape victims. Please get in touch with one of them. Try calling the samaritans? or even getting a counselor? Either way, it's impossible to cope alone and you deserve the help you need.I'm always here if you need to talk :arms:
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please talk to someone about how you are feeling heavenly star. Have you talked to a rape crisis center about what has happened to you? Please don't take another overdose or jump off a highway bridge. I'm sorry that this has happened to you, but you shouldn't blame yourself. You're the victim and you need to be helped. Talk to someone hun. :hug:
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Heavenly Star,
    I am sorry for what has happened to you!!! Please don't harm yourself, if you do then your letting him control you.
    I don't know exactly how you feel, but I was molested by a guy in my neighberhood when I was young. He had his way with most of my friends back then also. We took him to court and all the judge did was made him move. So he moved to the neighberhood behind ours.
    I felt dirty for years after that but I never thought about suicide over it. I use to drive by his house and shoot holes in his house.( steel ball bearings and a slingshot).
    Please do as the others have said and see a professional about this. You need to get it out so it doesn't continue to fester inside of you!!! Why don't you do as sweetheart has said and PM her because she has been thru it also!! Please take care and STAY SAFE!!~Joseph~
  7. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    You need to talk to someone, therapists have heard this story over and over again, and they will not judge you or think you are a bad person for it. In fact you are not a bad person for it because it was not your fault.

    I hope you can build the courage to find someone to talk to about it and get the help you need.
  8. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I know exactly how you feel and i know how it feels to be so afraid of telling anyone. But i started out telling a few friends about that dreadful night. It helped to know that they understood. And after that they gave me the courage to talk to a therapist about it, and since then i've felt slightly better. I still have flashbacks and dreadful memories about that night but it's not as bad or as often now.
    Maybe you have a friend you could talk to about this? Don't let them win by giving up on your life. Just because this happened to you doesn't mean that you cant have a good life.
  9. Locket

    Locket Well-Known Member

    :hug: i know exactly how you feel hun, and i know it's horrible and you feel like there's no way to get rid of this feeling, but there is. i get flashbacks too and so far i've not been able to get rid of them, but i've learnt to control them a little and i'm working to stop them completely! you need to talk to someone about this :hug:, does anyone else know? do you have a therapist or someone you can talk to?
    i know it feels like he's ruined your life, but he hasn't. you have to believe there is more to life than this! please stay safe xxxxx if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to PM me okay :heart:
    laura x
  10. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    Hi, i no how your feeling, the same thing happend to me when i was younger, please don't let this beat you, i no it probley eats away at you every day, i did the same as you bottled it all up, untill i couldnt take anymore.. on top of that and other things, i have had 2 failed attempts, and its only after that i decided maybe i do need to start talking to someone, and it helped a bit...it is something you will never forget, but you cant let it hold you back from having a normal life

    PM if you ever need to chat


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